I do not want to go

2008 promises to be the year of the weddings, heck, 2007 ended with a wedding. But this year in the immediate future there are 3 weddings in my midst, two in Mexico one in San Antonio, yes I guess that is kind of sorta Mexico too. Two of these are organized by friends and one by my cousin; as a result I have to go to the cousin’s wedding, well that depends on immigration papers and other things, but shush, lets see how that works out.

Anyway, I feel really bad about saying this, but this is the only place I can put this in writing, as much as I like my friends and I do like them, I do not want to do go. Yes, a wedding, is a wedding, it’s a ritual nothing else (thanks Sondheim, for the lyric) and I have no desire to go to Mexico City or San Antonio for the matter, to attend a wedding where I know no one. It is not like weddings are the time when your friends, you do not see very often have time to talk and catch up, it’s the time, when your friends are getting married and they are all over the place thinking about everything, except the friends they invited to the wedding. Besides I do not even know any of the brides, so I am not going. The hard part for me is telling people I am not going to be able to make it. All of you rolling your eyes, you know who you are, stop right now, for me, it is hard to tell someone I am not going to be able to go to your party – mostly because I hate when people cancel on me. Anyway so here are the questions I have for all the brides and grooms of the world that as soon as they have a set date, decide to turn the pages in their old address books and invite you to a wedding:

- Do you really think people have the money to travel to 3 different destinations each in one year for your wedding? NO
- Do you really think that friends – that are very dear – who have not met your significant other or any of your new friends want to go to a party where they will know no one? NO
- Do you really think people are going to plan and use their vacation time (this is not Europe where people have 6 weeks vacation) around your wedding? NO
- Do you really think people will pay 400, because lets be honest, airfare + hotel + meals even if you are going inside the US, gets to 400 easily to attend a wedding and then have to send a present? No answer for this one

Anyway, I was thinking all these during spinning yesterday, and I have come up with plausible excuses for my two friends and now working on what I am going to tell Mom if I can not go to my cousins. But I have to say my redeeming quality, is that I will send presents, I will, I just wrote it down in my to do list.

PS. Been so busy the last 3 days that, it is just now that I am able to post something worth posting.

A tale of two cancellations and an apology (Part I)

First things first, I need to send a big hug and apology to the couple from Chicago. I missed them this weekend, and I am truly sorry for that. I send them an email on Friday, but dumb ass I am they were arriving on that day. I know their stay in this city was not as fabulous as one would expect, and that they had to go back. They did get to see some people and I hope that at least that was nice. In my defense I am having the busiest time I have ever had at any job I my career. This is good and bad, all at the same time, because it leaves me no time to

Ok, that is off my chest then the next part of our tale. Saturday after a good swim practice, I went to brunch with the swimmers, and to my surprise and every one else’s Flawless came both swimming and to breakfast. I have to say that just looking at the man, made my morning. So at least the weekend started on the right foot. That streak was not to continue. After brunch I went home and cleaned, cleaned and cleaned. I had clothes all over the place and because I knew that there was a chance I might have company some time later on the weekend I would not have my apartment a mess. Things were put away, laundry was done and I even did the kitchen and some dishes. When I was done with this, I got a call from the Diplomat who was sick, sick, sick and he cancelled our dinner plans. I was bummed, but I understood. I was on my way to the gym and the fates knowing what was in store, had the Cook – an ex of mine, that cooks terrifically and loves entertaining – send me a text inviting for dinner. So there like Maria in the Sound of Music I could say that when a door closes and window opens. I got to the gym and did weights and cardio – cuz I hate my body, but also because I had not done chisel during the week and figured some weights are not going to kill me. I finished my workout, stretched and went home to get dressed and ready. Dinner was perfect; I was the substitute boyfriend for the Cook, since the real thing was sick. It was awkward, but we were only 4 people and of course I did a Mrs. Henderson and proceed to monopolize people’s attention and be witty and flirty and very entertaining. The food was terrific; I had worked out enough that I had 3 slices of yogurt cake – they were very small my dear Scientist – and a couple of drinks. The cook made a killer Rose Kennedy’s, just for me. The guests and the host were supposed to go to “Blowoff” after dinner, I had none such intentions, and proceeded to keep them entertained until 11:30 when they were also tired and went home. This is where I could write some fiction and say how I had sex with the ex, but no. I did not. It was not offered and I was tired and sore. I left the cook’s at midnight and went home like your everyday gay Cinderella.

Sunday morning came and I woke up at 7:30, going to bed early was he culprit and I started preparing for the day. I folded some clothes I had left on the dryer and checked the movie times for later. Why? A date had been arranged for the afternoon.

To be continued …

Oh and a nice surprise, I got an adaptor to move my pictures from my camera to the laptop and you will start seeing some new pictures in here.

Farewell Mr. Cowboy

This was another busy weekend, I have plenty of ideas to talk about, but I will start by the end, so that I have something to say for the rest of the week. Today is MLK, and I am at work, I feel like everyone else and their mother is at home sleeping, while I sip burned coffee and eat some fruit I bought from the deli downstairs. The life of the consultant what can I say.

Back to my tale, after 4 years swimming and 4 years of knowing the cowboy, finally he is moving to Atlanta. He has been talking about it for years, he hates winter and he always wanted to live south, finally he got a job and he is moving. In his honor, dinner, Show tunes and a Party were done. They were all great; we started with a low key dinner Friday, just 4 people at a nice restaurant. The next day Show tunes and the formal party which was a blast, there were people from all the different spheres of his life and we all got together pretty well, finally on Sunday I just went to JR’s to have one last drink and see him off to what promised to be a terrific night – remember most people are not working today, just me.

Do not get me wrong, I am not very sentimental but there is that little part of me that hates seeing people go, maybe it is because I like this city and by people saying they do not like it, indirectly it is like saying they do not like what I like, and I love when people enjoy what I like or approve off. Yes I am that controlling. But anyway, the cowboy, even if he did not swim he was one of the central parts of the swim team, our creative person if you want to give him a title of sorts. He was the person that would come up with the best ideas for Pride, and Pink Flamingo. You wanted to go do something fabulous you went to the cowboy; he usually knew how to go about it. He was fun and after a while one realized that there was more to him than jut boys and dancing.

Wow, this is beginning t sound like a eulogy, and trust me he is far from dead, so I will end this saying that I will be waiting for him to come back, because no matter what, people always come back to DC and we – the swim team and his friends – are always in need for fabulosity and merriment, and the living vicariously.

One last thing, Mr. Cowboy, if you are reading this, you better swim for us in Paris, no ifs, no buts no nothing

Trimming the Christmas card list

I am one of those gays that likes to send Christmas cards. It is time consuming, and it is he kind of gesture that probably makes some people cringe and think that I have way too much time on my hands. But as you all know this is not the case, it is not that I have too much time in my hands, it is just that I like to send cards with handwritten messages to the people I care about. I think that they are the best way to say in a meaningful way I care about you, and I want you to be a part of my life. I might not see some of the recipients often, other I see almost every day, but they are all important to me and I want all of them to know that I am thinking of them even in a month when we are all running like headless chickens trying to get shopping done, attending parties and just hanging on to the few threads of sanity we have.

This year, I went and bought cards in November, hoping to start writing during the thanksgiving weekend, well as usual the cards are there waiting. I have started the list of recipients and this year I am trimming down. It is kind of sad when you make a list of all the people you want to write and send a card to, and then you end up putting question marks at the end of someones name. The question mark reflects my thought on where the friendship is, and more, it asks the question does this person even give a damn if I send them a card. They do not mean that I do not like the person or enjoy their company, but ask a real question that in this day and age is important, should I invest 15 or 20 minutes in writing a personalized note to this person, knowing that they will not care. The answer to this is no, absolutely no. If the person doesn’t care, then why bother really. So the hard decisions made, people were definitely nixed from the list.

I feel bad about it, at some level it reflects badly on me, because maybe I have failed to remain close to some, or I have failed to spend time with others. It is worth considering am I the one pushing people away, but then in the end, no is the answer again. I have no t pushed people away and I believe that life is a two way street, and when a relationship with someone becomes a huge one way street (like 15th street for instance, the fastest way to leave the city by the way) then it is not worth keeping. That was the revelation of today, well more of last week when in between breaks and meeting I came up with the list of people I need to communicate with. When time is of the essence, then it is better to spend it on the people who care about you than on the people who do not.

^{PS. A picture of a cute playful otter, to remind us that we are all young at heart or something like that.}