Trying not to abuse the Tylenol.

Morning, yes it has been a month, but half of that I was in Paris, France, Europe and Amsterdam, Netherlands, Europe, so I have a good excuse. Many adventures need to be told, many great pictures need to be shared. A great time was had by everyone, although I wish I had come home Saturday and not Sunday, because Monday at 9 am I took a flight to Greensboro to get back in to the flow of things at work, so lets just say that yesterday jetlag plus getting caught up in everything that happened and everything that needs to happen has taken its toll. My sleep pattern is a mess, I wake up at 3 am, and have trouble staying in bed till 6 or 6:30, one of my aids in this fight for sleep has been Tylenol pm, I took one Sunday, still nothing, I tossed and turned, mostly anxiety about getting back on a plane after spending 24 hours traveling the day before. Then Monday, I took 2 pills and slept from 9:30 to 6:30 and was pretty refreshed, but last night I decided that I had to do it on my own and of course I woke up at 3:30, I managed to sleep a little bit more, the hotel does not serve breakfast until 7 so its not like I was going to leave the hotel at 6 and go sit in my cube at 6:15, so I stayed put till 6 and then started the day.
The good news this week is that I ma driving a Mustang, it was partly my fault that I got such a butch car because I messed up my rental reservations, thinking I was flying into Charlotte and not Greensboro, so I asked for whatever they had and they had a Mustang. I took it; there was no other way for me to get into town otherwise. It is black and automatic and I feel like such a bad boy driving it, it is not even funny. It drives well, much better than the HHR I had before I left on vacation.
The bad news is that I forgot to bring my camera with me, so I have 300 pictures that need to be downloaded and edited and they are waiting for me in DC, instead of being here where I could work on them in the evenings. Oh well, I will have to post real posts to keep you entertained until I can post my pictures.

Fear

This Sunday, yours truly will travel to North Carolina to start a new chapter in the laboral life – is that the right term in English, I am not sure. Yesterday as I was wrapping things up and seeing how there is a lot that I need to get done today, I suffered and anxiety attack as I was driving back to the gym. Many things went through my head, all of them at the same time, here is a glimpse:

• I am not bright enough and I will stink at the new project
• I will eat like a hog and become the Michelin man
• I will not be able to deal with the travel back and forth
• I will hate the people there and shut down slowly but surely
• I will miss all this things happening in DC and will be slowly forgotten

I know I am an idiot for thinking all these, but when you are home, tired after a long week and the only thing on TV is an old rerun of Ugly Betty, you mind can spin out of control. I did what any self respecting fag would do, had some chocolate, took 2 Tylenol PM’s, read for 30 minutes and was asleep at 10 pm.

Today the sun is out there, and I am feeling better, getting things done – as much as I can. Even planning on getting myself a new personal laptop for personal uses in my travels.

Where is Winter?

Ok, I am back, back, as in back in DC. I know, I have used the word back way too many times in the first line of the paragraph already, but that is me. So I had a great time back home, ate my way through the holidays and now I need to get back on the healthy bandwagon, nothing a week at the gym will not take care off. Otherwise the trip was fabulous; I saw old friends and family. Did some good shopping and even managed to write my January Cards, yes a new tradition I came up with, I call it send something in the month when people really need to know you care. So I sent cards to the people who sent me cards, and decided to not worry about the rest and politics and all those nasty things. But I managed to do that and I posted them today from here, cuz they will arrive sooner.

The only problem in the trip was that my allergies acted up and I have been high on Claritin for 2 weeks now and even here I am feeling groggy and constipated. I came to the office to no have to ask for vacation and to post and create some cool play lists and not feel out of the loop. As you can see my life is complicate, LOL. The other issue I have had lately – ravishing news I am telling you, I know – is that my sleep cycle is all messed up, for some reason the vacation, the nerves about traveling, getting a visa and a new passport and coming back, or what but I have not slept well in like a 4 days. I just stared at the ceiling and wait for sleep to come visit, but he resists. I might have to get ambian or something to help, but maybe this weekend as things come back to normalcy my body will adjust to its usual schedule. Falling asleep at 1:30 am and waking up at 6:30 is not fun. But those are my only two problems, so I guess I am good to go, the year is new and as most people I have some sort of resolutions.

I should phrase this better, they are not resolutions they are “goals” or “directives”. A lot of people do not believe in them, but I think that they are useful; they remind me of where I want to be and how I am planning on getting there. When I was a kid we would write down all 12 resolutions, as a child it was hard coming up with 12 things to do, but each year the same ritual would happen, we would check last year’s and see what we managed to accomplish (not much I assume, I can’t remember) and what we did not. I do remember feeling like it was a waste of time. At some point we changed from 12 to 6 and finally 7 years ago we came up with a new system we set 5 goals, 1 is the primary one the rest are secondary. This has worked, there are many ways to achieve them, but keeping them in mind helps, hence the need to set them in paper and remember what they are through the year. The key in my mind is to choose something one can really work on, not continue working, or making loads of money or loose 100 pounds, when you only need to loose 10 like me (ok maybe 7, or then again after the holidays, its more like 12), but something one can target. Because I know y’all are dying to know what I am going to tell you. I have decided this is the year of Positive thinking. Yep, this is the year when self deprecation and pity parties will have to stop or at the very least diminish. The more I thought about, talked about it to people as varied as the Diplomat, the Scientist and my Sister, I made the decision to well, change my inner language and the way I see/describe myself to my mind, hey its worth a try right ?

And finally, where the hell is winter? I leave for 2 weeks and when I come back it feels like spring, seriously people, what happened? It was much, much colder in Mexico City, I am talking 19 degrees, I felt like a character out of a Dickens’s novel emailing people with my mittens on and sweater over my shoulders.

Hope you all had a great New Year’s, all my best wishes for this 2007