Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Confession

Been trying to catch up on my reading of “The 16 Pleasures” for this Sunday’s meeting and guess what, I am not doing well, not with another week of class and an exam on Friday but I am still trying, so I am reading the book everyday at lunch, it serves two purposes:
1) keeps me out of the classroom during the lunch break – I need the mental break
2) keeps me from wandering into Nordstrom and buying something I do not need, the same applies to all the other stores on the mall, every time I walk to the food court I pass the Apple store, and the ibooks keep winking at me “buy me, buy me”

But no I am not doing any of that, I am not even buying a new cell phone, since I am screwed by my contract and would need to pay full price to get a new cell phone right now. Sigh, I really wanted a razor, but not right now.

Where am I going with this post, well today as I was reading the book I stumbled to a passage that just held me and made me think about where I am, and what is coming next, this was it:

What bothered me, I think, was the feeling that once again I had ventured out into the world of men and, the rough and tumble world of adult sexuality, only to fail, to be found frail, inadequate. And now I was being sent away to a safe place where I wouldn’t hurt myself or make a nuisance of myself.

Funny how a book can all of a sudden describe how one feels at some specific time.

There, need to go back to class…

2 comments:

Gay Canuck in the Capital said...

Interesting. I never thought of you as fragile in the rough and tumble world of sex, I almost can't imagine any gay man as such. I know that isn't true, but still. As you said, it strikes you at a given moment, whether it is in fact true is moot, it feels true.

The [Cherry] Ride said...

Ditto what the canuck says. But equally important: Don't buy a Razor phone, they truly suck.