Today, as I have been doing for the last 3 days , I walked to the mall to get lunch. Yes being trained right next to Tyson’s mall has its advantages, and its disadvantages. When it comes to the later, mall food is the main one. Basically there is no way to avoid carbs, not matter how hard one tries they sneak on you in tray after tray of anything you could possibly order. So today I had a burrito (the tortilla, not tortila was the bad one) and a side salad with no dressing. Yuck! Yes that is all I have to say for the lovely lunch I had.
But that is not what I meant to talk about. As I was walking into the mall, I started thunking about gay life in the suburbs. We all know the gay couples that move to the suburbs, yes, you know some too I am sure. So I wondered why I had not seen cute gay guys at all in the three days I had been having lunch at the mall. I looked high and low, yes trust me, all I could see was a see of pleated khakis and braded belts. I am not kidding it felt like the locker room on high school. The other half or more of the population at the food court were soccer moms and professional women. So I looked around and could see no one and I though how funny I now feel like the only fag in the village in Little Britain. I finished my lunch and started composing – in my mind – this little post that I am writing about the burbs and the gays. Suddenly as I was walking past a store I notice:
1, Poster with the sexiest abs I had ever seen (that is all it showed)
2. A twink wearing size 26 jeans, what would only be considered a painted on shirt, a Louis Vuitton Bag and a paper boy hat. Said twink was a male and was swishing down the mall like only the best can at JR’s or any urban gay watering hole or gym. So there, I saw another gay, probably a retail queen (I am a snob) or someone’s boy toy, or just the other gay in the mall, surely there had to be more was my thought.
3. A sign that said “20% off on all bottoms”. I am not sure how that works.
And those are the little adventures I have now that I am so close to Tysons. Yes they are boring, but they make the break between 4 hours of class and another 4 hours of class so much bearable.
3 comments:
Ahh, babe, its DC! you could NEVER be just 'the only gay in the mall'! Loving the new look, oh, and have just seen your email..will write back when I get to work. Glad to hear you survived the family, hope you are guuurd!
20% off bottoms? Is that like thinner bottoms? Or that there are SOOO many bttms in DC that the only way to move them off the shelves is to discount them? Or is that a Michael Jackson joke: What do K-Mart and MJ have in common- they both specialize in boys pants half off.
Agree with Rich - you may have felt like the only gay at Tyson's Corner, but trust me there were more.
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