Where I am

After a fun weekend, and an interminable Oscar’s party, I am back at work Monday, and I am planning my escape to North Carolina. Getting tickets, making reservations, planning on when I go and how I go and all that. It is exciting, it is new and it will certainly be different. At the same time I am finishing up here, and its not pretty, there are many things that need to get done and just not enough hours in the days that can be devoted to work. Yesterday I had a very stressful day, where nothing seemed to work and where I realized how stuck I was in what I was doing. Today is a different story, so far things are working, and I have a plan. At some point yesterday I realized that there was only so much I could do, and when you reach that place, and you are happy with the work you have done, and then you are free. It is not the truth that sets you free, at least not me, it is the lack of remorse that makes me free.

Anyway, this new change is kinda sorta driving me nuts. I really need a fresh start, but at the same time the idea of it makes me scared. It also affects my relationship with friends here, because I wont be here, and in the case of the big gay swim meet, I want to be involved and I just need to be very disciplined about what I am doing and doing it on time. As for the rest, well it is going to be a scheduling nightmare, but my life can be a scheduling nightmare, so I am used to that.

I know this post seems random, it is. Many ideas are going through my head, and I have not had the time to sit down and put fingers to keyboard and start typing. I have a great date story to tell, it was so great it lasted 20 minutes. Or the story of my sleepless night where I worked from1 to 4 am, because I could not fall asleep. Or I could tell you how I have made up my mind about my new laptop, but have not had the time to go see it at the store and ask the sales person the pertinent questions. I am not one to buy things if I have not seen them in the flesh.

So that is the update, a little weary, a little excited, a little sad but somewhat optimistic.

PS. The picture is from Switzerland, it comes from the BBC's site.