The flaps

Two weeks ago, I was flying back from Greensboro to DC, and in the middle of the flight a voice over the speaker said something about the plane being diverted to Dulles, that was the only intelligible part of the message, the rest was mumbling. I immediately perk up, I was finishing up the last book for book club and asked the person sitting in front if me if they had understood. They said they didn’t so I walk up to the stewardess and ask her, what was going on. She tells me there is a mechanical problem and that we are being taken to Dulles. Me, being me, instead of going quietly to my seat, I start asking why Dulles, the airports are 18 miles apart? Why not National, can’t they fix it there. Also I ask her who is paying for my cab to DC, I mean it is a 60 USD cab from Dulles to DC, not the usual 20 from National. She says she is not sure and that people will be there to help us. Well I almost through a hissy fit, and demand to talk to the pilot but then his voice comes over the speaker system and he tells us something about something not coming down, and that there would be some type of customer service waiting for us.

I storm back to my seat and one of my coworkers who was on the flight seats with me, and I ask him what the hell is the problem, and he tells me the flaps can not come down, and I have no clue what they are, so I just complain about having to take a cab, and being late for dinner and who is going to pay for the cab and all that. He stops me and explains how if the flaps do not come down we will not be able to land. Oh, shit! I think, not able to land, you mean they are going to keep us circling he sky until they work?. Anyway, we finally start out descent and I have talked to the stewardess again telling her I expect some help when we get to Dulles and sit and continue reading. Well the plain approaches the airport and we start to see the runway and the plane takes forever to land, I mean forever, it went for minutes on end. I even started to get worried, I mean, what if we do not make it, I started thinking, and we have been trying to land for 5 minutes now. Finally we bump 3 times and come to a stand still, and the fire trucks come to check the plain and it finally dawns on me that I am kind of lucky, to be there safe. So I shut up, until we get to the gate, and then I fight to get my luggage and be able to get on a cab … but that is another story.

Answer ...

The answer is ...

KIA Sportage or something like that !! The Cherry was right !

It was an ok drive, it felt like a Civic only a lil bit taller.

Guessing Game

NB. Have a better entry in mind, but no time to post it so here ya go ...

This week I am not sure what car I am driving, I know it is white; it is either a Suzuki or a KIA. It is one of those SUV type vehicles that is white, has beige interiors and it looks like a mix between a jeep and a sportier car. The radio is good, I was able to listen to NPR all the way from Charlotte without having to adjust the station, and it will be expensive, since the unlimited mileage is around 90, ugghhh. As you all know I fly in to one airport and fly out of another, so I take whatever car they can give in Charlotte and mae sure they change the contract to unlimited miles. Yes so is the excitement of my traveling life, anyone care to guess what kinda car I am driving ? I will post the answer tomarrow.

Nigella on the NYT

Every Wednesday I read the Food Section of the Gray Lady, its one of my addictions I have to confess, This week there is an article on the fashions of the women who cook in TV shows, exploring the trend to sexier clothes, and how it all got started by my crush, Nigella Lawson – yes I adore her, I think she is fabulous, absolutely fabulous. For once she speaks English well, her vocabulary has more than 50 words, and her recipes are easy and look yummy, and they seem to be something anyone could do – the house in Belgravia helps – but it is mostly the way she speaks and the way she expresses herself that makes her irresistible to me. She is the only show I would watch religiously from the food network or any of the style channels, unfortunately it is never on when I am home. She might even turn me straight – insert laugh track. Here are a couple of quotes from the article:

“The only small parts of me are my waist and my wrists,” she said. “I’m pretty bosomy with a very small waist, and if I wear something that’s not tight on the waist, I look like Mama Cass.” What she wore in real life, an outfit she calls “home-based,” translated brilliantly to television.

“The camera on television can’t distinguish between empty fabric and full fabric, and if you wear empty fabric, it looks very bulky,” she added. “The three-quarter length sleeve is more flattering to the wrist, and I don’t want sleeves in my food. And if you wear sleeveless after a certain age, you shouldn’t be beating eggs.”

You have to lover her, after a certain age, you should not be beating eggs in sleeveless shirts …

Death and the Roller Coaster

Last Sunday I had a panic attack. It was caused by a roller coaster, I know, me in an Attraction Park? You ask, well yes I went and as we entered the park everything was fine, some common friends of the Argentine and me, invited us and we tagged along. I had thought it will be a total change of pace and will be a break in the routine. So I said yes, knowing full well that I do not enjoy masses of people. The park was not very crowded and the weather was good (good – warm yet not overtly sunny), but as soon as the crew chose the first roller coaster I froze. I mean it, I froze. I saw the loops up in the air and the seats – one of those roller coasters where ur feet dangle – and I thought O.M.G. I am going to die. Seriously, that is what I thought. I tried to get out of it, and say I will wait for you here, but they would not hear a word of it. The Argentinean, told me to do it once, and if it was horrible I could pout the rest of the day. Of course my attack has just started, we made the line, and its was long, felt like we spent 45 minutes waiting, and everyone encouraged me and all, but I was just trying to breath in and breath out and the more I thought about, the more the fear latched on to me, and towards the end I even felt short of breath. It was like I was sure we were going to die, or become paralyzed, or have a terrible accident, or the ride would stop midway and we would spend 2 hours dangling from the thing in wait for rescue … the scenarios in my head where countless and all fatidic. Finally we get there, we are about to get on the little seats and I thought this is my chance I will just keep walking and no one will notice. But I realized I had promised I would try it once, and the Argentine was very sweet and told me that nothing was going to happen. Against all my survival instincts I sat down and strapped myself, and then I closed my eyes …
The ride starts with this extremely strong push forward (to generate the g’s needed to push the cars up and then around and around) and that was not scary, then we turned and went up, up, up and then I opened my eyes and yes my feet were dangling, but nothing felt wrong, it actually felt – can you keep a secret? – Good. The ride took us over 4 or 5 loops, around, up, down and sideways and you can see the park bellow you and it is so fast you can not really stop and think much. All of sudden it comes to an end, and we were down again, and I realized I had not lost limb or life. I – can you keep another secret? – had even enjoyed it.
From there we went on to 4 more roller coasters and I enjoyed them immensely, I even laughed specially in one that was inside, so you could not really tell what was coming next. All in all I had a great day in the park – I know some of you would not think I would enjoy it, but I did – it was very clean and the only bad part was the pizza we had in the beginning, yuck. Such a total waste of carbs, anyway, we made up by working on oatmeal cookies later that nite.

Am I a soccer gay ?

This week, I am driving a minivan, not just any minivan but a Dodge Caravan. I got into Charlotte and I say hi to my friend the driver of the Avis shuttle – we go way back, she reminds me of Miss Gay at the Hampton – anyway so she takes me to my spot and there it was a Minivan. I could not believe it; I know I am not a stellar driver but a minivan? I went into the office and they told me it was the only thing available if I was going to return the car in Greensboro. So I took it, what was I to do, take the broom and fly to Wilkesboro.
I got on board, and drove all the way, and have been driving the entire team to lunch every day this week, ohhh joy! I mean the car drives funny, it is different than driving a truck (I drove that Nitro remember), which was what I expected, almost like it has no suspension and I feel like I go in all directions as soon as the pavement is not smooth. Also I do not enjoy changing the wears with the handle next to the wheel – yes being terribly gay I am not sure what the name of that type of transmission is, I mean it is automatic but I am sure it has a special name. Finally there is no hand brake, and that I do not like, why? Do not ask, I just like knowing I have the break there.
I will return the car tomorrow, and have to fill her up, cuz I am not giving Avis any extra $ for the tank of gas, I used to take the gas option until I realized I was paying for an entire tank of gas even if I returned the car with half a tank. Of course this is the week where the ten commandments for drivers come out, and all, and I have been very careful, except when I forget to put the car on reverse and try to back out and things like that, but hey I am driving a minivan so I am sure other drivers just think, there goes another clueless soccer mom. Wrong! I am a useless gay driver, not a soccer mom.

Ten Commandments

The Vatican has seen my driving I am guessing, and they came up with driving's ten commandments. They are all kind of funny - I think - but here they are:

1. You shall not kill.
2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.
3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.
4. Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents.
5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.
6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.
7. Support the families of accident victims.
8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.
9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.
10. Feel responsible toward others.

Its not like one can disagree with any of them, but still when they are written and spelled out I can not help but chuckle. I know I am not a good driver, but c'on, I do not need 10 commandments do I ?

Pride weekend

This Saturday was Pride, and let me tell you it was exhausting. I have to thank a very special someone for putting up with me and all the craziness around the event. By the time the parade started I was feeling a little off and did not really enjoyed myself till the very last 30 minutes, for some reason, even the crowds and the day made no impact on me. On previous years there is always a sense of adrenaline going on, making me think yes I am out and freaking proud but not this year. It was enjoyable, do not get me wrong and lots of fun, but maybe because I was on edge I did not get to enjoy as much. Maybe because I was not carrying a water gun and ended up filling people’s gun and not really doing anything else.

Do not get me wrong, I had a great time and I think this year we made a real good job of generating a good idea and taking that idea into something that was doable. We managed to have pretty much everything ready the day before (a first) and the marching contingent looked unified and I am sure for a lot of people seeing men in Speedos was a great reprieve from all the other groups that march in over decorated S.U.V’s that truly scream everything but fabulous. Watching the groups that came after us, while we cleared the car and rested, I can not help but think, aren’t we supposed to be fabulous, aren’t we supposed to be the trend setters and makers, and then I look around the pride parade and it seems like the more garish and sad, the better. I do think that the parade and the festival need to be rethought, not sure what the answer is, but then again I am no friend of street festivals, so that part of the weekend will never be for me, I know there are people who manage to enjoy it – like the Diplomat – but not me, never have, maybe one of these days my opinion will change, but not any time soon.

The weird thing is I am not sure I should post this, it seems rather petty. Pride is great, one of the high holidays in the calendar. I always look forward to it, it marks the middle of the year and it is such a pagan day that it is great to enjoy. I already foresee some issues for next year, given its proximity to IGLA, not sure who will be able to put anything together, but like the Architect says that is in the pile of “Not my problem”, I am thinking that that is in the pile of “Not my problem, yet”.

Hopefully everyone else had a great time, and enjoyed the weather, Sunday was rather pretty and cool.

Book Review

Book Review

An idea occurred to me this weekend, we who read books need to start an itinerant library, there is no point in everyone buying books, but we can lend them to each other and that way we can all read different books and we can all save a little money. Sometimes I feel like I can not go into Kramer’s without purchasing one of such objects. The Argentinean even proposed to create a blog that basically encompasses book reviews, and the idea intrigues me. I can post about Paris and Amsterdam, but those entries would take way too much work and not sure I have the energy right now, later of course (yes skinny one, I know I am always promising posts), so I am tackling the book we discussed last Sunday, Mrs. Dalloway.

I approached this book with a little caution, I had never read any of her books, and was not sure what to expect. Like most people I had seen The Hours, so was curious to see if I could infer things from the movie that would help me read the book. I was disappointed when this was not the case. I skipped the introduction, one of the problems with reading one book every month, is you have to read it – yes I am the guilty one that tries to read them even if he dislikes them. Ok, so I started the book and I was familiar with the first line, so I followed the story, but then it changed, the narrator kept changing on me, and it took me like the first 30 pages to get used to it. But then I was fine, and by the time Peter comes to visit the morning of the party, I was able to identify the changes in narrator immediately and determine where the story was going next. My recommendation would be to skip the intro and just go for it, jump in and fight with her long sentences and her descriptions of things until you get the hang of the story and just keep at it.

The story is simple yet complicated, it is something we can all relate to because we all do some level of introspection, and we do not have the amount of time people had in the 20’s to just walk to the florist, but we still have 30 minutes here and there where we think of things, we need to do, of things we have not done, and of things that happened in the past and that still affect us to this date. The great thing about these exercises for me at least is that it gives you perspective, is shows how things that seemed so important were not and how little things ended up being what one keeps. Ok enough about me, the book surprised me because it was extremely pro British Empire, and how it went through all these characters cutting across the upper classes paying very little attention to the lower classes. I had thought she would be more of a socialist and a feminist than that. I can see how the book was and is revolutionary and how it is written with such craft that she keeps you reading even after she has cycled through similar descriptions over and over again, always through different perspectives. At the center of the book is a love triangle, that haunts its main characters through their lives, and this is a recurring theme in life and literature, but she manages to make it nuanced and interesting. Finally here are the things I would focus if I was to read the book again:
* The details about the park
* The lunch scene with Lady Bruton
* Elizabeth’s shopping scene
* Septimus appointment with Dr. Bradshaw

I know this post is a bit too long, but I would recommend anyone to read this book. The language will be a challenge (it was for me, but I am not a native speaker) but the story is beautifully told, its worth reading it for the sentences and the paragraphs alone. Also I like Clarissa, I like her a lot, so I guess I am biased because from the get go, when he is mending her dress for her party she had me.

PS. There is a new link on the right, y’all know who he is.

Trying not to abuse the Tylenol.

Morning, yes it has been a month, but half of that I was in Paris, France, Europe and Amsterdam, Netherlands, Europe, so I have a good excuse. Many adventures need to be told, many great pictures need to be shared. A great time was had by everyone, although I wish I had come home Saturday and not Sunday, because Monday at 9 am I took a flight to Greensboro to get back in to the flow of things at work, so lets just say that yesterday jetlag plus getting caught up in everything that happened and everything that needs to happen has taken its toll. My sleep pattern is a mess, I wake up at 3 am, and have trouble staying in bed till 6 or 6:30, one of my aids in this fight for sleep has been Tylenol pm, I took one Sunday, still nothing, I tossed and turned, mostly anxiety about getting back on a plane after spending 24 hours traveling the day before. Then Monday, I took 2 pills and slept from 9:30 to 6:30 and was pretty refreshed, but last night I decided that I had to do it on my own and of course I woke up at 3:30, I managed to sleep a little bit more, the hotel does not serve breakfast until 7 so its not like I was going to leave the hotel at 6 and go sit in my cube at 6:15, so I stayed put till 6 and then started the day.
The good news this week is that I ma driving a Mustang, it was partly my fault that I got such a butch car because I messed up my rental reservations, thinking I was flying into Charlotte and not Greensboro, so I asked for whatever they had and they had a Mustang. I took it; there was no other way for me to get into town otherwise. It is black and automatic and I feel like such a bad boy driving it, it is not even funny. It drives well, much better than the HHR I had before I left on vacation.
The bad news is that I forgot to bring my camera with me, so I have 300 pictures that need to be downloaded and edited and they are waiting for me in DC, instead of being here where I could work on them in the evenings. Oh well, I will have to post real posts to keep you entertained until I can post my pictures.

The convertible and the gay

Yes I am back … sorta. This week I traveled Sunday, because I needed to be here Monday morning and the best way to guarantee that is by getting here Sunday. I left DC at 7:30 pm, my flight was departing at 9:45 from Dulles. I drove like crazy to Dulles afraid of the security lines and all that, but I get there and there is no one in the airport I was even worried that there was an emergency and the airport was closed, but no. I passed security with my two laptops in tow. I get to one of the new wings at Dulles and wait and wait, and wait, and wait a little more. The flight finally leaves at 11:15 pm. We land in Greensboro ( I even changed airports this time, its all about exploring) at 12:15 or so, and I walk to the Avis counter, and as I ask for my car, and they give me a spot and the keys, and as I walk to the parking lot I realize that I did not know what Chrysler Sebring was, so I kept walking and to my surprise there it was a blue car, that was a Sebring, but even more surprisingly it was a convertible. I mean, I am gay, but a blue convertible is totally wasted on me. I open the trunk and see this weird contraption, so I put my bags in the back seat and start driving to Wilkesboro. The first thing I noticed is how freaking heavy the doors are, and how freaking hard it is to open and close the trunk. Ughh so much work.

The day after, I realize that the weird thing in the trunk is the space where the top goes. Still the doors are too heavy, when I complained the Argentinean was quick to point out that they make the body of convertibles heavier to make up for the lack of roof, and here I thought it was just a poor American design.

Its been 3 days with the car and I have not taken the top down, LOL, I guess only I get the joke, but I was planning on driving to Greensboro today with the top down weather permitting. I have not realized how to do it tho, but I am an engineer so I am sure I can figure it out. There is only one problem, today the Tyson’s Chicken plant decided to put all the chicken leftovers in the fields around town, and it stinks of dead chicken everywhere, and let me tell you its like walking in the fifth circle of hell. The smell of whatever the chickens leave behind is just nauseous. So no driving with the top down for me!

Finally I want to send all my best wishes to all the Mothers out there, in Mexico Mother’s Day is today, so to my Grandmother, to Mrs, Perfecta and to my Le Soccer Mum in Paris, who I will see very soon, all my love.

Wet and wild

Last weekend was wet and wild, and it was not just the weather, it rained, and rained and rained and rained in DC, causing all kinds of trouble. Pumps not working, basements flooded, streets closed, etc. It even affected my ride to the airport Monday morning when the cabbie had the nerve to give me a lecture on how much time to give myself to get the airport. I just sat there quietly, and then when he had dropped me at the airport, he started to get away with my bag in his trunk, so at 5 am I started cursing like a sailor, and almost took his cab fair money from him. So angry I was that I walked into the airport, registered for the flight and stomped to the gate without even saying hello to anyone.

Well back the weekend, so I went to my first real straight meet, it sound weird I know, but in 4 years of swimming I have always gone to the gay meets and UMBC, but never the big competitive straight meets. So I went to Colonies Zone, and it was fun, it was different, for once there was no food, so I have to thank the Argentine for packing me some gels, cliff bars and a sandwich. At gay meets there is food, we try to be friendly I guess, or we try to make everyone fat to make ourselves feel less bad about our bodies. Who knows, so at this meet there was nothing but bending machines, and I am usually terrible at carrying cash, so I had to stick to my two bottles of water. That is my big complain, that and the fact that we were the only team who cheered, but I am getting used to that with time.

As usual I swam free and fly, and I did ok. I mean I could go on, and on about how bad I am, and how slow, and how I do not seem to make any progress. But I have to be honest:
a) I am not a born athlete
b) I am 5’3”
c) I have maybe swam 5 times in the last 4 weeks
So all this means that I was not in perfect shape and I did my events ok, I guess. I had a very good 200 free for me, at least 2:35, and a bad 200 fly. The irony is that the only medal I got was for the 200 fly, a bronze. I did a lot of relays, and had a lot of fun. It was a sobering meet I think, because it showed me what real swimmers are. One guy did the 200 free in 1:40, I mean that is my base time for the 100 in long distance events. It was just amazing to see people like this swim. On of the more humbling moments for me, was at a relay, we had two teams in the same heat and we were swimming in lanes next to each other. I was doing the last 100 free, and I had plenty of time, turned to my right and my ageless neighbor was going to swim the same, for the other relay, he is 10 times faster than me. I realized that because of the rest of the people I would hit the water at least 10 seconds before he did, and I thought this is my chance to not be wiped out. Well I am 5’3” and not a sprinter and he is 6’1” and a sprinter, so I jump in and swim, and try to go as fast as I can, and there I am moving my legs as fast as I can, and trying to elongate my stroke, and as I do my third flip turn I just see him coming and I just knew he is going to overtake me, but I thought I had a chance, so closed my eyes and swam, as fast as I could. I came close the wall, as I touched the pad, I noticed him waiting for me in the lane next to me. Dang! At least I have the 1650 I guess, that is until the Canuck becomes too fast, which he already has.

Me and my Nitro

Yes it has been a while, but life has gotten busy, just busy. Also the traveling gets old and there is just not a lot to tell. Lunch at Ruby Tuesday’s, sushi for dinner, I am still the only man in the Chisel class. Same old, same old. This week something is different though, I have been driving a NITRO, yes it is the boxy car, and it is weird to drive, I feel like I am omnipotent, driving so high above the ground being able to bully all the little cars around me. Also I am afraid I will miss something and suddenly go boink!, and hit a tree or a car or a passerby or something that I was not able to observe. One of the funny things about renting a car every week is that in a way it is like a game, and you get what you get. Usually I get economy cars, mostly because I am cheap and I do not need that much space. It is me, my rolling bag, my knitting bag and office backpack. Now that I put it in paper, it does seem like a lot of luggage for a 4 day trip, and the sad part is the only thing I do not need is the knitting bag, because the rest I need.

The car is great, the NITRO I mean. I is big and I can accommodate a lot in it, mostly people going to lunch, but I do feel like an OC wife running errands all alone in a big SUV when I am driving alone back to the hotel or to the Y. The one humiliating part of it all is that when I got it, I get in and the seat was pushed way back, like they were expecting a guy 6’2” tall to just come in and drive into the sunset (sunrise, I guess since it was 7 am). Well I sit down and realize I am way to short to get to the gas pedal, and I start searching for the lever to move the seat forward, and I can not find it. All I see is a button that moved the seat up and down but nothing to move it in the other directions. I step down of the car and look, I see nothing, I go and take a look at the copilot’s seat and see nothing. Nothing. I think, and think, and think a little more. The car has no manual, the glove box is empty. I am going crazy now, I have spent 10 minutes looking for a way to move the sit so I can drive out of the parking lot. I am pissed now, and at the same time I can not contain the laughter. So finally I decide to ask. I get on the truck and drive to the entry, looking like a 10 year old driving their parent’s car, and when the guard checks my driver’s license and the contract I cleared my thought and asked if he knew how to move the seat. So he makes this face, like he did not know, and I thought, shit, shit I am going to have to drive like this all the way to Wilkesboro, but not, he told me to step down and shows me how the button that moves the seat up and down, also goes sideways. I do my little gay laugh, and thank the parking attendant, hop in my truck, put my shades on and drive to Wilkesboro without having to strain my back.

Cautionary tale

Road warriors out there, be careful, take heed and listen to this story, because last Monday I saw the future and let me tell you it is not pretty, or enticing or anything. I t was scary and realizing how easily it could happen to anyone I have decided to tell you about it so y’all take your provisions and stay alert.
Here is the story, I am walking into the hotel and had to ask for some water. Stopped at the Front Desk, at the hotel they know my name; they call be Pablo, not Bobby. But there was a lady waiting, she was tall and thin, blonde (artificially blonde) and she had the accoutrements of a seasoned traveling consultant. The nice bag, the expensive rolling Tummi bag, she had her rental car keys and her wallet. She was just checking in. The guy in the Desk was real friendly and told her that he had gotten her the same room as always and that it was all set. She smiled, and looked content, introduced herself to me, I forget her name, but I did notice the tan and the wrinkles. This was no spring chicken, and she looked a little overdone, if you ask me, but she had a pleasant smile and nice bright blue eyes. We talked for a bit, and then it was my turn to get my water, I ask for it, and I then notice he had some grocery bags with her. The rooms have a fridge and a microwave, so I decided to peak. She had some frozen dinners (yuck), cereal and cookies, some toiletries and finally there was one bag that just stood out from the rest, as she grab them and started walking toward the elevator, one bag has a 12 pack of Coors Light.
This was a Monday which means that she had picked up 12 beers for maybe 3 nights. Imagine that. I can not, but I am not a beer drinker, not at all. Of course as soon as she left and I got my water I had images of a hotel room littered with beer cans, and thought what will the cleaning lady think? I guess she doesn’t care. Nor should I, but please, please, please if anyone ever seems me get a 12 pack of beer to get through the week, just stop me right there in my tracks.
May this serve as a notice to all.

Where no gay cowboy has gone before

Last night, I was going to swim at the Y, but I was tired, and thought, what the hell, I can not swim every day. So I worked a little bit later – 6:30 – and then decided to try out the sushi joint in town. I left the office and drove the Red Carpet Inn, an internationally well known chain of establishments that in the case of the Wilkesboro it comes with a Japanese Steakhouse in the premises. I got there at 6:40, the place was empty. I am not sure what the local was empty and like a set out of Golden Girls, ugly dolls in the corners, ugly drawings hung from the walls, and rattan furniture stained a dark brown color made up the décor. The bar was a tiki bar, with Japanese accessories, and the barwoman and sushi person was oriental for sure, but where I can not tell you. Her accent, being a mix of southern drawl and Margaret Cho’s mother gave no clue. She was fast, and she looked like she had managed the place for years and the two clueless white waitresses where no use. They could not even be bothered with either my order or me paying for the food. But eventually, 20 minutes later, I got my sushi and went to my hotel room and had it in peace and quiet. It was good, not out of the world good, but good and I am still here to blog about it so I guess it was clean enough.
So that was my tale of branching out for food in this town, everything else involved fries or ranch dressing and sometimes I am just not in the mood for another salad with dressing on the side, the looks I get are priceless. No cute stories about Walmart or anything this week though. I have been working away and getting so used to the surroundings that I do not see them as exotic or anything like that. Maybe I am becoming Bobby.

Things I have learned so far

• Breakfast means sugar in the heartland, sugar and flour, with protein only in the form of bacon
• Things are not that bad in DC, here everything closes early except fast food.
• Always stock up in power bars, always, because when you do not feel like picking up a salad at Wendy’s a protein bar does the trick.
• HBO is your friend.
• Humidifiers should be mandatory in small town hotels.
• If you are traveling with lube, make sure you put it in a zip lock bag, otherwise it might spill.
• When traveling with two laptops. Put on in the bag you are checking and pray, otherwise you will be juggling laptops, shoes, bags, needles, yarn, book, the New Yorker and boarding pass during security.
• Choose one color of dress shoes, so that you can carry sneakers and flip-flops. This week it is black.
• Whales attack their would be saviors.

Like a Virgin,

Last Monday I crossed a pair of doors I had never crossed. Call me a princess or spoiled or what not, but I had never needed to go there, there was never one around and I was always able to live without one in my life. I knew they existed and have even studied it for school and work, but just had never had a reason to go and see it. Of course the new assignment changed everything, and finally last Monday I went into a Wal-Mart store for the first time.
*gasp*
I had left work, and I needed tooth paste and moisturizer and some other random things, like a bottle for water and a notebook. I had seen it on my way to lunch and after paying a visit to a grocery store I and getting nothing, because I realized that having groceries at the hotel would be a waste of time and money, I went into Wal-Mart. I was surprised, I was expecting a massive store – this one was not – with many products and lots of people. This one was not particularly crowded and the shelves were not stock. It looked like a run down Target, with bad service and nothing to sell. It also looked very dumpy compared to the Targays I have been in, in DC, really dumpy, like it sells merchandise that is 5 years too old. The shock of the evening came when as I was walking past the electronics and bam, there just next to the sporting stuff, rifles and weapons in general. I probably jumped three feet, clutching my basket thinking, those had to be toys. Then thinking again, and realizing they were guns, real guns. And of course there was people at the counter and bless their hearts they prolly got a good deal in the amo they were buying but still. So I saw that and I went straight to the registry and checked out.

Notes from the first day

Sunday, 10:00 pm, Atlanta International Airport, yes dear readers this is as close to the real thing as it is going to get for the first week, since I am not sure the extent of my internet access at work. Today is my first day as a “road warrior”, One of those nerds with a laptop in a gate waiting for a plane. I am tired because of the meet and even if I am satisfied with my results – more on this later – I still wanted a better meet, in any case I got what I got and I managed to swim a ton, but I am paying for it now, when I have another two hours of waiting before getting to Charlotte and then a 1 hr drive to my final destination. I might just stay the night in Charlotte and then drive off in the morning, but we shall see how I feel when I get there.
The airport is packed; I was expecting an empty place, but no. Families, members of the military, people traveling alone and people in packs milling around the terminal. All the stores are open, and there are many, many fast food restaurants to choose from and TV’s everywhere all over the place. Its like CNN has me on its grasp and will not let me leave. The stories are inane, more on the Ana Nicole burial, something about someone giving toddlers pot to smoke and some missing person somewhere. Ohh and just right now Ann Coulter called John Edwards a faggot or something like that. Sheeesh, well I am out, I tried to connect to the wireless network here but it costs $4.95 to get on, and I do not think that this post is worth that much, so will try and post when I get to Charlotte or Wilkesboro.

Ok, so this post was written before I arrived here, I drove 1.5 hours and got in really late as you all know from the previous post, but I did it. The office is interesting, the team is fun and the environment is very positive – not something this jaded queen is used to. So far so good, I am sure I will be a bit bored after 3 days, but for instance yesterday I read 100 pages of the book we are reading just on the plain, and now I have 150 more to go. I also did a bit of knitting, but the flights were crowded and it was hard to do.

The first day is hard, it has been hard, I am sleepy and tired and getting used to the new environment and at a loss for words or things to do. I will stay at the office until 6, and then what ? I need to sleep, so I am going to go grocery shopping and then go check the Y, and then I am not sure. That is it for now, will post some more later this week.

Ohhh, and Happy belated b’day skinny !!!

Competition

It is very rare that I enjoy an athletic competition. I have never been an athlete, or even coordinated enough to be considered athletic, but last weekend I went on my first meet of the year. It was in Baltimore, not Baltimore, Catonsville, in Maryland and I had a great time. It was a short and sweet meet, lasted 5 hours each day and even though the ride was long, we all managed to have a great time. In my case, I swam 11 events, and that is a ton, really, not to boast or anything but I swam:
200 free
200 fly
50 free
100 free
50 fly  on a relay
800 free
500 free
100 fly
50 free  on a relay
50 fly  for a relay
1650  free

It was a lot of swimming, and it was not fast, but Sunday as I went up the stairs of Lauriol plaza for lunch, my legs felt wobbly, like I was barely able to walk. But for once the satisfaction was there, I definitely need to improve my times, and better yet I need to find one event I will try to do really well, because some of them were back to back, and so I did well in the 200 fly but terrible in the 50 free, terrible. Also in a short meet like this, I had some good times in the relays that I am not sure of, because no one pays attention to those and they are 50’s anyway. But most importantly for the first time in my swimming career – I guess I can call it that – I went to a meet and it made me look forward to the next one. In the years before I would go to a meet and be so happy when it was over, it was stressful and difficult for me, but this time it wasn’t. I know everyone and was able to focus on some different events – 200 fly here I come – and really relished in the competition part even if I did not win anything. So there ya go, something might be changing in me, or I am just getting better at swimming. Yay for me! Now I do need to work on my times though, because even if I padded some of my seed times a little, I need to start putting down more realistic times in the future

Finally here

I am here, after a 1.5 hour drive from Charlotte, btw, why is Charlotte called Charlotte, any one knows ? Anyway its almost 3 and I need to be at work at 8:30, so need to get to bed, I have some important news do:

I …
found …

Fear

This Sunday, yours truly will travel to North Carolina to start a new chapter in the laboral life – is that the right term in English, I am not sure. Yesterday as I was wrapping things up and seeing how there is a lot that I need to get done today, I suffered and anxiety attack as I was driving back to the gym. Many things went through my head, all of them at the same time, here is a glimpse:

• I am not bright enough and I will stink at the new project
• I will eat like a hog and become the Michelin man
• I will not be able to deal with the travel back and forth
• I will hate the people there and shut down slowly but surely
• I will miss all this things happening in DC and will be slowly forgotten

I know I am an idiot for thinking all these, but when you are home, tired after a long week and the only thing on TV is an old rerun of Ugly Betty, you mind can spin out of control. I did what any self respecting fag would do, had some chocolate, took 2 Tylenol PM’s, read for 30 minutes and was asleep at 10 pm.

Today the sun is out there, and I am feeling better, getting things done – as much as I can. Even planning on getting myself a new personal laptop for personal uses in my travels.

Where I am

After a fun weekend, and an interminable Oscar’s party, I am back at work Monday, and I am planning my escape to North Carolina. Getting tickets, making reservations, planning on when I go and how I go and all that. It is exciting, it is new and it will certainly be different. At the same time I am finishing up here, and its not pretty, there are many things that need to get done and just not enough hours in the days that can be devoted to work. Yesterday I had a very stressful day, where nothing seemed to work and where I realized how stuck I was in what I was doing. Today is a different story, so far things are working, and I have a plan. At some point yesterday I realized that there was only so much I could do, and when you reach that place, and you are happy with the work you have done, and then you are free. It is not the truth that sets you free, at least not me, it is the lack of remorse that makes me free.

Anyway, this new change is kinda sorta driving me nuts. I really need a fresh start, but at the same time the idea of it makes me scared. It also affects my relationship with friends here, because I wont be here, and in the case of the big gay swim meet, I want to be involved and I just need to be very disciplined about what I am doing and doing it on time. As for the rest, well it is going to be a scheduling nightmare, but my life can be a scheduling nightmare, so I am used to that.

I know this post seems random, it is. Many ideas are going through my head, and I have not had the time to sit down and put fingers to keyboard and start typing. I have a great date story to tell, it was so great it lasted 20 minutes. Or the story of my sleepless night where I worked from1 to 4 am, because I could not fall asleep. Or I could tell you how I have made up my mind about my new laptop, but have not had the time to go see it at the store and ask the sales person the pertinent questions. I am not one to buy things if I have not seen them in the flesh.

So that is the update, a little weary, a little excited, a little sad but somewhat optimistic.

PS. The picture is from Switzerland, it comes from the BBC's site.

I forgot

Every year, for the last three I give up drinking for lent. It is hard to do, specially because most of my social life revolves around bars. This year I was going to do it again, but just realized that lent started Wednesday...

I am such an idiot.

What do you think i should give up dahling readers ?

Failing to sleep

Good morning, It is 4 am in the morning and I just finished my performance review document. For some reason I can not sleep.

Not really sure why, I mean, I had a long day, even went to an alumni thing and then came home, but like the patients in those pesky Restless Leg Syndrome adds, I kept tossing and turning and was unable to get to sleep. Finally I gave up and just turned on the 'puter and started doing some work that I know I will have no time to do tomorrow.

I then thought well I will post something, but what? It is 4 in the morning. I could tell you that yesterday I wore one of the new slacks I got for Christmas, since I had the alumni thing I thought I should dress up, and I did. Its amazing what real pants do to my figure, its like I go from JLo butt to normal and almost slim. It also helped that they were black, with thin, thin stripes. To my surprise they were a bit loose, which means that the diet has worked so far, if you can call my eating habits a diet. It is good news because I will need all the help in the world not to balloon when I start traveling, there will be too many free food options to pass out just because. I am still not sure how I am going to negotiate the food issue with myself, but I will have to find a way.

Well I am going to try and sleep for 2 hours, because otherwise tomorrow I will not be functional.

Don't you hate it when your sleep cycle is not cooperating. Maybe its time i get myself some ambian.

Change is in the air ...

This year has been very busy for me, it’s been one short term project after another and if you add to that the trying to exercise and keep a semi healthy eating lifestyle, I am just running ragged. I am exhausted yet my mind is terribly alert and there are so many things I need to get done that I can not sleep well, and have terrible nightmares. I will give you an example, last night, I dreamt that I was moving and that the movers were there and in my mad rush to get everything ready, I had packed everything, except the kitchen, my clothes and the bathroom. The movers started to get the furniture and whatever was already packed, but I woke up with this immense sense of apprehension because I as they were moving store I kept putting clothes and dishes and glasses into plastic bags so that I could finish the move. It was crazy, I literally woke up and it took me a couple of minutes to realize it was 4 am and I was in my bed and I was not moving.

Well so this had been just a sample of the type of nights I have had. To top it all I have been swimming like a brown dog for a week now, and there is a meet next weekend. This idiot even signed up for the 200 fly. Anyway, so I know what you all are thinking, poor thing she is finally melting. Well I wish I was finally melting, but its not that, The source of all my anxiety is that I have signed on to a new project, at a home improvement retailer and it is a great job, I will be able to put into practice my degrees (yes even if I do not write like I have them, I have 2) and will grow within my company, Not just that but this is the kind of resume building project that you can use to impress people at interviews for years to come. So its great, there is a catch of course, the company is located in Wilkesboro, North Carolina.

Gasp

I am not moving though, I will be traveling, Monday through Thursday every week. It will be hard, there is not doubt about it. I will need to learn a new set of skills and a new version of the English language (Lord help my grammer). But the way I see it, change is good, it is not the end of the world. It will make my social life difficult, because I am going to have to pack a 3 day weekend and try to see most of my inner circle of friends. But anyway we are not the type of people that go out on a Tuesday or Wednesday anyway. I am sure I will manage. There are many compelling reasons to go, one of the most important ones is personal growth. I will need to live with myself 4 days a week. No distractions, no meetings, no coffee dates, no running around. I have carved myself a life that is so busy here that I rarely reflect, because when I reflect I get despondent and can only see the glass as half empty. This experience will change it. I hope, and even if there will be nights where coming back to a hotel room will be depressing, I will have to read or knit, watch some TV, blog a little and think a little. In short it will put me out of my comfort zone, beyond the borders where I operate so well, mostly because I know them so well that I can do all these things blindfolded and not break a lot of things. For the peep’s in DC, be prepared to see me in the weekend, and to expect little patience for people that can not plan or schedule, but also rest assured that a bigger, better person will be writing this blog.

PS. There is a Y right next to my hotel, so there will be no end to the amounts of cardio I will do and I see a lot of scarves in your future.

Some nice pictures

Because i am brain dead, I am posting some nice pictures, hope you like them.

Valentines - or Sarcastic Wednesday

Valentine’s surprise

My life, a tragic-comedy of manners mostly, always delivers great surprises when things seem to not be going my way. Sunday, the same Sunday I posted about yesterday, I got home to a message from my sister that asked if I had received a package. I had no idea, I never check the mail – that is an upstairs job. I promised I would go look, but first I had to go to the gym. I came back from the gym and I find a box, and inside the box I find this:

The note was simple and lovely, instructing me that the bounty was not just for me but for the entire Klingelites … so I have to share. That was my valentine, and since I have lots of friends to send valentines too, I am posting one of my favourite poems. It is extremely cheesy I am warning you, but I have always liked it. Of course it is Kipling’s IF, and here it is:

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

--Rudyard Kipling

PS.

To the Scientist - no you do not know the cook

To the Will - Yay !!! can not wait, lets all go out Saturday

A tale of two cancellations and an apology (Part II)

Where were we? Oh yes the Sunday’s date. It was going to be a third date, which is always promising. In my book it means I have at least kept the man interested enough to go meet again. Sometimes this means they have not slept with you yet and they want to sleep with you – not something that happens often. Or they have slept with you already and are looking forward to a repeat. Because I am changing my ways, I was hoping it was going to be the first one. I once had a roommate who said that if you wanted to make God laugh, you should confide your plans. God had a good laugh at my expense that day.

There I am, at 7:30 thinking. I stayed in bed until 8, and then got up. Wrote down the movie times in a piece of paper so I remembered what was showing where, and at what time. Cleaned the house a bit more, made the bed, and as I was getting ready for swimming I overhear a voice calling my name from upstairs – the upstairs were on a meet in Richmond. I was stark naked putting on my contacts, and I thought it was the TV, then I realized it was my name, so I answered and it was Edith, the cleaning lady. No one had reminded me she was coming. It was a good thing, because she would clean, but I had already cleaned and even done some laundry on my own. Felt so cheated. But anyway, I did not turn around, and told her I was getting ready to go swim, that I would be talk to her as I left. I am not sure if she came downstairs or not, but I turned and put on my swimsuit faster than Superman. Then off to swimming I went.

I had a bad practice and it was all my fault, I had lifted the day before and I was everything but flexible. So I forced myself, to do what I could, but it was not a good workout. Then as I was leaving the pool I checked my phone – was going to brunch with the Diplomat and his landlord – and I get this message from a number not in my contacts:

Not feeling well today, I will stay home. Sorry,

I was not sure how to read this, I was a bit confused and all. It then dawned on me, that he was canceling the date. But that was all he said, not a word, of lets reschedule, or call me later nothing. A flat out cancellation, with no option to maneuver around it. I called the Diplomat to arrange for brunch, and then tried calling the date, but there was no answer so I left a voice mail saying that I got his message and that I wish he felt better.

I drove away from the pool and that was when my insecurities, and the nagging voice in my head all came out. I tried to put them away by turning up the volume in the radio, but they would not go away. All they said was what a looser I was for thinking anyone would be interested in meeting me again. I know this is not the end of the world, but it seemed to me that when you are on your third date and so far the last two have been pretty good, you can think that this could be a potential success. That this is the one where you will know if this will become something a bit more meaningful or if it is time to call it quits. I had suggested dinner and a movie, because it would give us something more to talk about than what we had already discussed and it would give me some insight into what he liked, disliked, enjoyed and all that fun stuff.

I went to brunch and tried to put up a good face, but was not very effective. On the one hand my Sunday plans had just collapsed, on the other there was the rejection. On the one hand I could go work out; on the other hand no one is interested in you. My mind plays tricks on me like that; it makes little incidents become overwhelmingly important. I was overpowered by this wave of sadness that just left me secure in the notion that I am of no value to anyone, but at the same time knowing that I have to keep going because my neurosis will not allow me to stay home. I avoided talking to other people and did what my gut told me to do, cardio. I spend 1.5 hours running at the gym like there was no tomorrow, and thinking, thinking, thinking. I made sure I was tired enough that I could go home watch some TV and just vegetate. Luckily my neighbors saved the day and we watched a sad gay Portuguese movie and then Bitches and Bitches, sorry Brothers and Sisters which I love.

Why care so much you ask ? I do not know. At this point I would hope the walls around me would be strong enough, but it is at moments like this that I see how vulnerable I can be. I know on the one hand it is scary, but on the other it is positive. It means I care, and I promise to not just stop and retreat into myself, but to keep going. What else is there to do ?

PS. Should a boy call back to see if the other person is better, or be passive and wait for the other person to call back? What do u say readers?

A tale of two cancellations and an apology (Part I)

First things first, I need to send a big hug and apology to the couple from Chicago. I missed them this weekend, and I am truly sorry for that. I send them an email on Friday, but dumb ass I am they were arriving on that day. I know their stay in this city was not as fabulous as one would expect, and that they had to go back. They did get to see some people and I hope that at least that was nice. In my defense I am having the busiest time I have ever had at any job I my career. This is good and bad, all at the same time, because it leaves me no time to

Ok, that is off my chest then the next part of our tale. Saturday after a good swim practice, I went to brunch with the swimmers, and to my surprise and every one else’s Flawless came both swimming and to breakfast. I have to say that just looking at the man, made my morning. So at least the weekend started on the right foot. That streak was not to continue. After brunch I went home and cleaned, cleaned and cleaned. I had clothes all over the place and because I knew that there was a chance I might have company some time later on the weekend I would not have my apartment a mess. Things were put away, laundry was done and I even did the kitchen and some dishes. When I was done with this, I got a call from the Diplomat who was sick, sick, sick and he cancelled our dinner plans. I was bummed, but I understood. I was on my way to the gym and the fates knowing what was in store, had the Cook – an ex of mine, that cooks terrifically and loves entertaining – send me a text inviting for dinner. So there like Maria in the Sound of Music I could say that when a door closes and window opens. I got to the gym and did weights and cardio – cuz I hate my body, but also because I had not done chisel during the week and figured some weights are not going to kill me. I finished my workout, stretched and went home to get dressed and ready. Dinner was perfect; I was the substitute boyfriend for the Cook, since the real thing was sick. It was awkward, but we were only 4 people and of course I did a Mrs. Henderson and proceed to monopolize people’s attention and be witty and flirty and very entertaining. The food was terrific; I had worked out enough that I had 3 slices of yogurt cake – they were very small my dear Scientist – and a couple of drinks. The cook made a killer Rose Kennedy’s, just for me. The guests and the host were supposed to go to “Blowoff” after dinner, I had none such intentions, and proceeded to keep them entertained until 11:30 when they were also tired and went home. This is where I could write some fiction and say how I had sex with the ex, but no. I did not. It was not offered and I was tired and sore. I left the cook’s at midnight and went home like your everyday gay Cinderella.

Sunday morning came and I woke up at 7:30, going to bed early was he culprit and I started preparing for the day. I folded some clothes I had left on the dryer and checked the movie times for later. Why? A date had been arranged for the afternoon.

To be continued …

Oh and a nice surprise, I got an adaptor to move my pictures from my camera to the laptop and you will start seeing some new pictures in here.

Snow, TV and cardio

These three words can describe my evening. Last night as I was about to leave the office for Chisel – I work in the hinder lands of Virginia, at 5 pm, a little problem arouse its ugly head, and being the anal retentive gay, I stayed to solve it. At first I thought it would be only 30 minutes or so, but that turned into a 2 hour effort, the good thing is I got a lot other stuff done. Yay! For work but bad for the figure. Once the crisis was solved, I drove to the gym and did some cardio while doing cardio; I was on the step machine to be exact I wasted 1 hour of my time by watching and listening to American Idol. I have to say this it was the first time I had ever watched said show, and I have a confession, I can see why people like it. I saw the “good” episode, where the no talents audition to go to Hollywood. OMG, there is very little talent out there, for a country of 300 million. Granted they were in San Antonio, but c’mon, they could at least have showed the better candidates, of course that would not be good television so we saw some pretty pathetic fools making asses out of themselves. My favorite line was after this sad girl, who apparently sang like an angel in her church’s choir, tried to sing a song. She was bad, had no personality, could not interpret a word she was singing, so I wander how can she sing in choir when she can barely put any emotion into it? The judges said no, and she left saying that they were all negative on her, and that they had judged her without listening to her and blah, blah, blah. But the pearl of the show was when her mother and sister received her after the failed ambition, they said that none of the people there knew anything, asked why Simon was part of American Idol when he was not even American and when the presenter said he was British, the said “well he needs to go back to British, to judge…”. Back to British, yes … I guess this goes to tell how well educateted the audience and participants of the show are. Of course this is a gross generalization, I know, but anyway just my observation.

The funny thing is that last week two of my co-workers, of conservative persuasion, were talking about Idol and said that it was the liberal’s fault that no one told people anymore that they are not good at something. I had no good retort to this, and said that it was not the fault of the liberal’s but just the fault of modern western world, that sees the chance of being famous as the only way out of poverty. After watching the show, I realized that this people that know they are bad singers, just go there to exhibit themselves. Some of them are delusional, I give you that, and most of them are told by their friends they are good, but how in his or her right mind just listens to ones friends. That is not part of the liberal bias that is part of the human bias. We will tell people we like that we like what they do, because they are our friends or family. I would like to think I am a liberal that does not delude himself about his talents, but I do keep a blog – and know I am no Phillip Roth. I will never aspire to be a singer or an actor, but maybe that is just because I am so overeducated that I have other incredible aspirations that will never come to bare fruit. This has nothing to do with political ideals. This all goes to show how a better educated group of people tend to look for opportunities elsewhere and the people with no other chances, with no aspiration or role models, see show business as the one way out. Are we all at some level part of the American Idol phenomena, trying to be something we are not good at?

Maybe the answer is yes.

PS. The snow refers to the craziness that ensues any winter precipitation in DC.

Not all is bad

Picture this, a modern homosexual pondering what to wear at 7:00 am in the morning. He has just showered and the day before he had experienced the discomfort of thermal underwear and pants all at once. He goes through the wardrobe and remembers a pair of wool slacks ideal for chilly weather. He also remembers that they are size 30. Mmmmm, he says, will I fit in them? There is only one way of knowing. Our modern fag, tries them on and against all predictions, they … fit!

Once that first challenge has been conquered our hero, proceeds to assemble an outfit that can from office to dinner with the chisel crew, prepares breakfast (coffee, bagel, cottage cheese and a banana), packs his multiple bags – the work bag and the gym bag – ties his red scarf and puts on the hat that matches and leaves his house. He drives through the rolling and conservative hills of Virginia and without much peril gets to the post office where he sends his mother some pictures from the last family trip and then even arrives at the office 10 minutes before he expected.

Sometimes, life can be good, if not good, at least good enough to remind is that it’s the little things. Like when the knitting book came in last week, or the fact that I still fit into size 30, or finding those extra 10 dollars on the jacket you wore last weekend.

This does not mean that I am going to turn into a hallmark gay, that repeats happy thoughts or meaningless quotes and seems to smile in the face of defeat – read the previous post – but I have to put on a brave face and smile don’t I.

Of course this frame of mind might be a result of the chocolate I had last night after swimming. It was one of those horrendous practices when neither my mind, nor my body gets into swimming, so I just followed and did my thing but did not get a real workout. By the time I was home and ready for bed, I had eaten half a chocolate bar, the Icelandic bitter one (70% cacao) , and promptly fell asleep at 11:30.

When a missed connection backfires…

Last week was difficult, no matter how much I try to put it, I was. I worked 10 hour days and worked out every day – yay! for me and then had a little debacle Saturday when I saw the missed connection and he refused to give his number. Oh well, I was crushed at first, I always am, it’s the only way I deal with the little problems in the world. I turn them into storms that threaten to drown me, but then they are just storms in a teacup, really because after thinking about it, I came to the conclusion that it is not a big deal. It’s sad, the Diplomat told me that it took me too long, and my reply yes, but he could have asked for my number too and he didn’t. Of course this train of thought leads me to believe that there is no point in making an effort, and asking people out or even asking or other people’s digits or information. It is sad and a reality that at 30, no one is coming and asking me out on dates, but we all have our crosses to bare, and I will continue to go on dates, coffee, dinner, movie ones until I find someone that finds enticing enough to ask me back. As much as I want to throw a pity party and cry, I can not. I have never been a crier, which is a shame, I would love to be able to cry sometimes and just get through the emotions by doing something other than cardio. Unfortunately – and no this is nor part of the shtick – I just never cry.

I am left with many unanswered questions, where does one go from a missed connection? Why is my mind playing tricks on me, making me believe people are actually interested? Why do we think that we want something, when after truly analyzing the situation we realize that is not what we are looking for? All this are particularly valid when it comes to romance. Why is it so important to think and over think things that in the long run are mute points for our existence? My answer is short we are privileged, over-educated people with way too much time. If had real problems to keep ourselves busy, such as where is my next meal coming from, or where am I going to sleep tomorrow we would just be busier and not really depressed over someone not giving us a phone number.

Well that is the start of the week, here is to hoping that it will get better, the cold is here with us, and so is the thermal underwear – has anyone ever worn slacks with long-johns? - they feel weird, but I thought better prepared than sorry.

PS. the picture has nothing to do with the post, just a comment !

Missed Opportunities

A Saturday night three weeks ago, I am in JR’s listening to show tunes with the Diplomat and the Cowboy. We were there enjoying what was to be the last show tunes with the Cowboy for a while at least and an architect, no lets not confuse with the Architects, another architect came up and talked to me. He is kinda sorta my type and we talked for a while and even my chaperons agreed that he seemed interest. This came as no surprise; I knew this person from before and even if your circles of friends are somewhat close, he has never been someone I even knew by first name, but I had talked to him on several occasions and I always thought, ummm he interesting.

This particular Saturday we were on a tight schedule, because there was a farewell and party and at 8, as soon as the last show tune played we promptly left the bar to go help the Cowboy set up and all that. As I left I talked to him and said that I wanted his number and that next time he saw me he should give it to me. He demurred, and I have him a quick kiss as I left the bar. Of course that was a great ego boost, and I proceeded to have a very good time at the farewell party.

I did not think much of my promise to get his number and my lack of balls to ask it and get it that Saturday because I see him at show tunes on pretty regular basis, so the next Monday was the Golden Globes and we skipped JR’s in lieu of a viewing of the award show. I again thought well I will see this guy next weekend or next Monday, the Diplomat and I usually go to JR’s after Monday’s practice. In an ideal world I would see him the Monday after, but guess what, he does not show. Then to add insult to injury he does not show there last night at all. Of course the diplomat informs me that his best friend moved to NY and of course now I am left there in the cold, with no number and no way of even knowing where this architect is.

Lesson is, dear readers, ask for the number. Do not wait !

That being said this is DC, so hopefully I will see him around, maybe, maybe not, I guess this time its all on the fates hands.

I am blue …

Monday January 27^th, 7:00 am. I am putting the ground coffee on my new French coffee press and putting water to boil, and as I turn the burner on and prepare to go hit the shower I realize that I am just feeling blue. The weird thing is there is nothing to be blue about, nothing. I had a great weekend, went to target and bought some not so necessary things, but still I got some great stuff that will help my daily life – such as a shredder. Went ice skating and had a great time. Went to Freddie’s and got hit on by a cute young thing and saw the one who gave me back my groove last year. To top it all went swimming yesterday and after a horrible practice on Saturday I managed to have one of the best practices ever on Sunday.

But still I am blue. Perhaps it’s the cold, perhaps its my mind playing games with me, or me playing games with myself and some other people. Not sure, but the only thing I know is I am blue, like the man in that awful techno song from sometime in the mid 90’s. And no matter how many comforts I have I can not feel any other way. Even the weather is nice, well at least it is sunny and I just got what any gay man dreams of, a pair of new shoes that is cute and young without being too cute or trying to be too young. Those were a find I owe to the Canuck and the Imelda who out of happenstance went into a shoe store on Sunday where I was the only one who got shoes. So what am I to do, of course the first mistake is overanalyzing – which I am all ready doing - but I have to start somewhere right?

My fine is ...

$ 500.05

I am impressed with my prude self.

Just because I have no energy, i leave you with this funny cartoon for all the whinners (is that the correct spelling, who am I kidding, I do not care) out there:

Little test for you all out there

Here’s how it works: You don’t have to confess your answers, just the amount of your fine. (Not per incident!) Tally up your score and post it on your blog with the title… ”My Fine Is…”

Smoked pot — $10
Did acid — $5
Ever had sex at church — $25
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you — $40
Had sex with someone on MySpace — $25
Had sex for money — $100
Vandalized something — $20
Had sex on your parents’ bed — $10
Beat up someone — $20
Been jumped — $10
Crossed dressed — $10
Given money to stripper — $25
Been in love with a stripper — $20
Kissed some one who’s name you didn’t know — $0.10
Hit on some one of the same sex while at work — $15
Ever drive drunk — $20
Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk — $50
Used toys while having sex — $30
Got drunk, passed out and don’t remember the night before — $20
Went skinny dipping — $5
Had sex in a pool — $20
Kissed someone of the same sex — $10
Had sex with someone of the same sex — $20
Cheated on your significant other — $10
Masturbated — $10
Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend — $20
Done oral — $5
Got oral — $5
Done/got oral in a car while it was moving — $25
Stole something — $10
Had sex with someone in jail — $25
Made a nasty home video — $15
Had a threesome — $50
Had sex in the wild — $20
Been in the same room while someone was having sex — $25
Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars — $20
Had sex with someone 10 years older — $20
Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 — $25
Been in love with two people or more at the same time — $50
Said you love someone but didn’t mean it — $25
Went streaking — $5
Went streaking in broad daylight — $15
Been arrested — $5
Spent time in jail — $15
Peed in the pool — $0.50
Played spin the bottle — $5
Done something you regret — $20
Had sex with your best friend — $20
Had sex with someone you work with at work — $25
Had anal sex — $80
Lied to your mate — $5
Lied to your mate about the sex being good — $25

I will post my fine tomorrow morning after doing all the counting !!!!

Bitter Bear

Yesterday, as I was browsing the internet’s I read this gem on DurbanBud’s blog:

A BitterBear is a furry, athletic, gay man ranging in age from his late 20's to mid 50's, who believes the world now owes him something, since he has finally gotten into moderate to great shape, after years of neglect -- and if he feels these accolades are not bestowed upon him, he throws hissy fits and constantly bitches. He thinks he is the shit now, but his maturity level has been at a standstill since high school. Steroid users, guys who came out late in life, and aging club kids tend to be BitterBears.

I think a new gay phrase has been born!

Also refraining from analyzing its implications for me or my readership … lets just say that we are all bitterbears at some point or other. Hence the need for the year of positive thinking.

Cleaning before the cleaning lady

I am a Latin princess, yes this will not come as a shock to any of you my dear readers, but sometimes this Latin princess has to clean and organize and those are the times he feels happier and content. Last night, I got home from a meeting at 5 ish and cleaned and cleaned, why? because the cleaning lady is coming today. It sounds moronic to clean before the cleaning lady I know, but because she only comes once every 3 weeks she doesn’t have time to sort things and put things away. Back home cleaning ladies have more time and hence they put stuff away and they do a bit more than here for a lot less, let me tell y’all. Regardless I organized, I did some laundry because Edith poor thing can not do all my laundry especially after 4 weeks or so, and I even cleaned the kitchen and did the dishes. I am such a good housekeeper some times I even impressed myself. After 2 hours of organizin’ the house looked good enough not to have a cleaning lady come, but then I noticed the floors and I thought, good thing Edith is coming.

But seriously, I could clean my apartment, I could. But who wants to spend 2 hours cleaning when one can have someone else do it? I sure do not. I do feel guilty, because there are a lot of other things I could be doing with the money. Lots of things can be bought such as therapy, a new wardrobe, kitchen appliances, books, yarn and all those wonderful things. Rest assured that today when I walk home at 9:30 pm or so, after a long day at work, then a workout and a b’day celebration I will walk in to a clean house and a made bed with clean sheets and I will think it is worth all the yarn and books I can not buy.

Snow and the Labyrinth

DC was covered in snow last night, well not covered, but we had some snow, which in this city translates to the city closes down, no one works and the stores run out of water, milk and toilet paper – because of course during snowstorms the need for toilet paper increases exponentially for some reason that evades natural logic or laws.

I am home, working on some documentation and will actually have to go to a meeting in resting at 2, which means I do have to drive, no I am not happy about this turn of events but what can I do, I am going to meet the VP of Services of my customer.

The weekend as uneventful, saw Pan’s Labyrinth and loved it, it was a great movie. I know the Gay Canuck hated it, I liked it a lot. I understood all the violence and liked how he brought back fantasy and story telling as it was in the old days when stories were not sanitized by Disney. If you have not seen the movie, what you need to know is that it is a parable about how good actions might not win at the end of day but that by some karmic connection they are rewarded. Also it is a story of how fantasy can help us cope with the direst of circumstances, but that fantasy alone is not enough and that sometimes all the best intentions in the world will still not win the battle at the end of the day. Finally it is a beautifully crafted movie, that shows us a war where 1 million people died, and how tit broke down the social fabric that made a nation. I can talk about all this in the first person because my 4 grandparents fought and lost that Spanish Civil War and as a result I was born in Mexico City under circumstances that would have never happened in Spain. If you like fantasy, and have a good stomach - I do not, but I still went - go see this movie, you can always close your eyes when the blood starts to flow.

In knitting news I started what promised to be a pretty, pretty red scarf last night.