My Drug

This month the swimmie book club is reading “A million little pieces”, a book I am not very interested in, but I am reading it, and I am making strides, but as was the case with the last book, I might not get it done before 2 weeks. There is so much pucking in this book that I feel like I have read about throwing up for the rest of my life. Ok, I am being facetious, the book is interestingly written, I specially enjoy its short prose and its use of sentences in lieu of paragraphs. Reading about addictions makes me always think of mine, for years and years my addiction was doing nothing, sitting around reading, playing the aloof intellectual perpetually misunderstood by my pears. Then I joined the swim team and the whole tune changed, I became more active and by active I mean physically active. I started swimming and then I picked u the gym and I am at a stage where I try to work out everyday, and feel guilty if I do not work out one day. This is stupid and nonsensical I reckon, but I do. I give myself one free day every week – today is the high heel race and it will be the day because I need to be somewhere at 6:30 and there is no time to do anything at the gym. But most days you will find me at the gym or at the pool. Yesterday was no surprise, I left work then went to the gym and lifted, did some abs and spined.
The interesting thing is how exercise changes my state of mind. I had had a long day, with some small tasks at work. I got into a tizzy with a friend that was being bitchy, and as a result I was tired and just ready to go home and sit on my couch. But I know myself well enough, I would not manage an afternoon at home with the TV and nothing else. I went to the gym, and I did the weights (biceps and triceps) and then the abs class, both boring. Then headed to the spin class, and had one of those classes where you are able to do everything and do it right. My legs were tired but the high I get from doing it and being tired and the little pain all over that tells me I have done something right is exhilarating. It is something not all my friends understand, but some do (that would be the Scientist and Imelda). After the gym I got some groceries and came home, watched some TV while the Diplomat and the neighbor came for dinner. After they left and I was putting stuff away, brushing my teeth I realized how addicted to the cardio part of exercise I am. It is not the weights, and sometimes it is not the swimming but it is the spinning and the stair master that give me this sense of happiness that can only be compared with a high. I left the gym ready to slaughter dragons and giants and I am grateful for that, at the same time I am grateful for the insight because it most definitely is something I need to keep in check.