Last week was difficult, no matter how much I try to put it, I was. I worked 10 hour days and worked out every day – yay! for me and then had a little debacle Saturday when I saw the missed connection and he refused to give his number. Oh well, I was crushed at first, I always am, it’s the only way I deal with the little problems in the world. I turn them into storms that threaten to drown me, but then they are just storms in a teacup, really because after thinking about it, I came to the conclusion that it is not a big deal. It’s sad, the Diplomat told me that it took me too long, and my reply yes, but he could have asked for my number too and he didn’t. Of course this train of thought leads me to believe that there is no point in making an effort, and asking people out or even asking or other people’s digits or information. It is sad and a reality that at 30, no one is coming and asking me out on dates, but we all have our crosses to bare, and I will continue to go on dates, coffee, dinner, movie ones until I find someone that finds enticing enough to ask me back. As much as I want to throw a pity party and cry, I can not. I have never been a crier, which is a shame, I would love to be able to cry sometimes and just get through the emotions by doing something other than cardio. Unfortunately – and no this is nor part of the shtick – I just never cry.
I am left with many unanswered questions, where does one go from a missed connection? Why is my mind playing tricks on me, making me believe people are actually interested? Why do we think that we want something, when after truly analyzing the situation we realize that is not what we are looking for? All this are particularly valid when it comes to romance. Why is it so important to think and over think things that in the long run are mute points for our existence? My answer is short we are privileged, over-educated people with way too much time. If had real problems to keep ourselves busy, such as where is my next meal coming from, or where am I going to sleep tomorrow we would just be busier and not really depressed over someone not giving us a phone number.
Well that is the start of the week, here is to hoping that it will get better, the cold is here with us, and so is the thermal underwear – has anyone ever worn slacks with long-johns? - they feel weird, but I thought better prepared than sorry.
PS. the picture has nothing to do with the post, just a comment !
1 comment:
That sucks. I dunno why you think there is a connection and then presto, the other person makes it clear there wasn't. I like to think it is them and not me; they were drunk, their baggage, etc. But it is disheartening nonetheless. Maybe a tiny pity party is in order :) At least a small bag of M&Ms.
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