The power of music

I have never been a big fan of concerts, never been a music junkie, or someone who will go out of his way or pocket to go see an artist perform live. Call me cheap, but that is the way I have always been. As a teenager, I would shrug at the idea of camping out of Mixup (Mexico’s version of Tower Records) to buy an album or get tickets for a concert, especially if the price was astronomical. I never got it. I remember my friends going to see Madonna, or the Metallica – yes there are some rockers in Mexico too, I now will not accept any association with them, but some of them were my friends – or whomever and I just never cared.
In the last 7 years in DC, I have been to concerts, but I prefer theater to concerts there is something about sitting there listening to music I am not sure I am going to like, that makes me cringe. Maybe it’s the sitting down and doing nothing that drives me nuts, you knows? Yesterday, the cowboy invited me to a Christmas concert, at the DAR Constitution Hall. I have always loved holiday music, it’s the fag in me, I have always been excited by shiny things and nothing brings back memories of Christmas and ornaments and good time as carols and Christmas standards. Of course I said yes and even left work a bit early to make it to dinner before the concert.
We got to the Hall, and being the cynic I am my first thought was how do I get in with the Daughters of the American Revolution? What kind of club are they? Where do I fill in my application? Then I proceeded to check everything and everyone around us out. The Hall is pretty, the lay out is different, at least from the concert halls I know. So we sat down, the Boston Pops all were seated waiting for they very gay director, Keith something or other, who should not wear red blouses, no man should, but his red blouse was just not pretty. All these ideas are going through my mind when all of a sudden the music begins. The lights dim down, and the orchestra starts playing I could not recognize the music, but then the chorus starts, and it was the Gloria, beautifully done. And my attention was focused; it went from all the little details, to the music itself. After a couple of songs, one of the blockbuster songs of the evening was interpreted, none other than Handel’s Hallelujah Chorus from The Messiah, and then in one instant I was reminded why people pay to see music being played live. As the chorus rouse and sang:

Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
for the Lord God Omnipotent reigneth.
> >Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

I got goose bumps all over and my mind started following the music, up and down, up and down. It was powerful; it put me at ease and made me realize how powerful and emotional a good live staging can be. So there, I am now converted, not that I will start going to concerts all the time, but I finally got why people keep going to concerts halls instead of staying at home with the ipod or the cd player.

nothing, absolutely nothing

I have nothing to say today. Nothing at all, I went out to get lunch to Wholefoods as usual and then perused the card section at Barnes and Noble and still have not come up with more cards for all the people in the list I mentioned yesterday. So far I only have 16 cards ready, ahh anyway. Such is life. So I bought a sandwich – its turkey, so do not worry my darling Scientist, not that unhealthy, plus it’s the first carb of the day. And then came back to the office, and perused the news, and still have nothing to say, nothing at all. So I am going to talk about the scarf I am knitting, yes knitting is somewhat back, I been doing 20 minutes or so before bed time, as I drink some tea and try to get myself ready for sleep. I picked up the scarf I was knitting during the summer, and now I am just knitting it, no purling, and no ribbed effect any more. For once I just want to finish the project and move on. I intend to finish next week, so that at least I have something to show for one year of blogging consistently.
Sadly these are all the news I have, no presents have been bought. Hopefully tomorrow I will have a mad dash of inspiration and will be able to offer some form of interesting commentary.

Trimming the Christmas card list

I am one of those gays that likes to send Christmas cards. It is time consuming, and it is he kind of gesture that probably makes some people cringe and think that I have way too much time on my hands. But as you all know this is not the case, it is not that I have too much time in my hands, it is just that I like to send cards with handwritten messages to the people I care about. I think that they are the best way to say in a meaningful way I care about you, and I want you to be a part of my life. I might not see some of the recipients often, other I see almost every day, but they are all important to me and I want all of them to know that I am thinking of them even in a month when we are all running like headless chickens trying to get shopping done, attending parties and just hanging on to the few threads of sanity we have.

This year, I went and bought cards in November, hoping to start writing during the thanksgiving weekend, well as usual the cards are there waiting. I have started the list of recipients and this year I am trimming down. It is kind of sad when you make a list of all the people you want to write and send a card to, and then you end up putting question marks at the end of someones name. The question mark reflects my thought on where the friendship is, and more, it asks the question does this person even give a damn if I send them a card. They do not mean that I do not like the person or enjoy their company, but ask a real question that in this day and age is important, should I invest 15 or 20 minutes in writing a personalized note to this person, knowing that they will not care. The answer to this is no, absolutely no. If the person doesn’t care, then why bother really. So the hard decisions made, people were definitely nixed from the list.

I feel bad about it, at some level it reflects badly on me, because maybe I have failed to remain close to some, or I have failed to spend time with others. It is worth considering am I the one pushing people away, but then in the end, no is the answer again. I have no t pushed people away and I believe that life is a two way street, and when a relationship with someone becomes a huge one way street (like 15th street for instance, the fastest way to leave the city by the way) then it is not worth keeping. That was the revelation of today, well more of last week when in between breaks and meeting I came up with the list of people I need to communicate with. When time is of the essence, then it is better to spend it on the people who care about you than on the people who do not.

^{PS. A picture of a cute playful otter, to remind us that we are all young at heart or something like that.}

back from a long weekend

I am sitting at my desk, a little overwhelmed with all the things that need to be taken care off plus all the work that needs to be done. But I just went to get lunch and get groceries – as usual it is better to go get things while at lunch than try and get into the city and do it before swimming or spinning.

Life is good, a bit quiet lately due to work mostly, but had a good weekend, saw movies, went out, socialized a little, you know the usual. It was low key and we had great weather so we could not complain. This week we are supposed to be in the 60’s so it is nice in D.C. now. There are some challenges as usual, but we will plow ahead with the same determination that we have had in the past and hopefully this last month before Xmas, aren’t y’all stressing about it already, less than a month before Xmas I repeat, 1 month. I have not done my shopping, the cards are not yet written – the recipients list has not been finalized in my mind, plus I have to get all my papers ready for the new visa and do the various things we all need to get ready before we go anywhere in December.

I have to wish a happy b’day to the soccer mom, out in the suburbs, her b’day was yesterday and we are celebrating tomorrow, so yay !!!

And in other news I have been giving an ultimatum to stop calling myself Minke next weekend. Not sure why, maybe I can start calling myself humpback or some other type of whale then.

Thanks

This is the second thanksgiving for knitting, and so here is a list of the things that the knitter will be saying thanks for tomorrow:

• Friends, amazing friends that do not happen over night. Friends who are there through thick and thin. Friends to laugh and cry with.
• Family, they are far away but they are here and they embrace me and help me keep going.
• Work, because even if I am tired and overwhelmed, it reminds me that I am somewhat useful and productive and I rather be busy than a member of the leisure class.
• Swimming, because in the end joining a certain swim team is the best thing I have done so far in the last 7 years.
• Coffee, not sure what I would be able to accomplish without it.
• Struggles, because even if it makes little sense when we go through it, it reminds us we are alive and we have a purpose. It keeps is moving, forward, backward and sideways and the point is to never stop.
• Brunch, it is the carrot at the end of weekend practices and the social binding that keeps my group of people together.
• Internet, without it this blog and most of the things we do would not be possible.
• Mornings, glorious mornings, when even if I have to drive 1 hr to work I get to drive through rolling hills and beautiful parks by a river.

Well I could go on and on, but then this would turn into one of those *gasp* entries that is better filled under corny and unreadable. I wanted to post, because even as I am busier than I have been in a long time, and I am crabby and depressed at times, I am still thankful and I still realize how lucky I am to have the life I do. I might play the jaded and bitter card like Judi Dench plays Queen Victoria, but that is just a character, a mask that protects me from disillusionment, a wall that protects my inner core. Inside, in my mind, I realize all I have done, and all I have yet to do. But for now, I am content. Tomorrow, I will make the roasted sweet potatoes and a cold corn salad, and go to dinner realizing that I am lucky.

PS. Work is hectic so read the scientist, he has time to post, I will not. But I promise to continue posting a little every week until I am done with this project.

Still here ...

Still alive, just so much work I can barely have time to think about interesting things to post.

Maybe this weekend.

Because I have little to say, my head is aching and I need to be here till 5, I am posting some pretty pictures:





No gym for me today ...

Yesterday

My schedule yesterday:

3:00 am --> wake up time
5:00 am --> train left Union Statin
5:15 am --> get a sit and spill coffee all over me as I get the tray table up
5:20 am --> get more coffee after cleaning myself up and getting rid of the coffee infused Atlantic I was going to read on my way to New Jersey
7:30 am --> arrive in Newark
9:00 am --> first meeting at customer site
12:30 pm --> first break from meeting to get lunch
1:30 pm --> second meeting at customer site
5:00 pm --> call a cab to get to airport
6:05 pm --> get to the Newark Airport's train station to realize the only feasable train was the 6:45 pm regular train to DC
6:45 pm --> no train
6:55 pm --> train get in
7:00 pm --> train leaves station
9:50 pm --> arrive in DC
9:58 pm --> get cab and go home

So doing all these while sick, was quite the challenge, having two succesful meetings and being able to talk to the customer ... priceless.

Mexico and the Gays

Mexico City, my home town, just passed a Civil Union law. I think it is the first of its kind in Latin America, and it makes me terribly proud. Not that I am in touch with the gays in Mexico, but the fact that it is my country, which is thought of as backwards, and third world, made this bold move is impressive.

There are many caveats to the importance of this law, one of them is that Mexico City is ruled by the PRD – a liberal or leftist party in Mexico, but they are mostly populist – and the fact that it has 20 million people and many other problems makes the passing of this law easier. After all it is small minded people in countries where they have nothing to worry about that focus all their energy on banning gays from marrying, sorry Virginia, but I am talking about you. Still even in this climate where a very “progressive” majority rules Mexico City’s legislation, passing such a law is very moving and effective. It also goes to show how even the all powerful and wealthy Church in Mexico could not stop this, I am not sure how much they applied themselves to oppose it, but I am sure they tried. This is a lesson that us liberals in the US, need to learn, we can not be afraid of the evangelical and the Christians, in Mexico they were able to fight and they won. It helps that there is only one Church (I use capitalization because it is a 2000 year old institution that for years and years dominated Latin America).

So there we go, Viva Mexico!

Disclaimer:

I am no legal expert so I think the law only applies to Mexico City, not sure how marriage is regulated in the Mexican legal system. Hence the lack of analysis of the changes it presents or the way it impacts gays in all of Mexico.

Phote Tease

Because I am lazy, and I have nothing to say, I am uploading some pictures for you to peruse
1 - a little parable, selective trash ?

2 - Remember all the complaining I did about the shoes for the High Heel race, here they are:


3 - Today and yesterday I took some pictures of the end of fall in DC, most of the leaves have or are already falling:

Mind is out

Remember that project I failed, I took it again and I passed. I am happy, but after 3 days of mental exercises, carb loading like a 15 year old, and then a swim practice that was mostly fly last night, I am exhausted. Yes I know this is a run on.

Lots to talk about, but will have to wait until my neurons are connected again.

Took some pretty pictures and the Miss Adams Morgan Pictures are on Yahoo! some need to be edited and rotated.

The meeting and the blogger

Hey there, I know I skipped one day! This is not a daily task, but that is how my mind works, need to do … and then go and do. Every morning when I come into the office I make a list of what I need to get done that day and I tick the done things like the control freak I am as the day progresses and I get more and more things done. Yesterday I had planned to do a series of menial tasks and then use my lunch hour to come up with a good entry. I did I had even thought about a great subject. Then in the middle of the morning, the shit hit the fan at the office and a meeting was set for 12, with pizza brought in for our delight and nourishment (I seriously question, why companies bring pizza for lunches, unless the hidden agenda is to fatten up people so they can stay in the cubes longer). The meeting went on and on, ad infinutum, or until 6 pm and by the time it was all said I had forgotten what my post was going to be about.

That is the sad tale of this blogger right now, meetings and meetings and work and more work. Apparently no one here got the memo that I need to keep a blog and I need to read the press to know if there are any interesting stories to talk about. This is my lame attempt to post today, cuz I am as busy as yesterday, just sitting at my cube trying to deal with things one at a time.

Marie Antoinette

I liked Marie Antoinette, yes I did. I liked the music, I liked the costumes, I liked the shoes and I liked the story. And before the Diplomat jumps at me, I have three words for him: High School Musical. There now quiet down peanut gallery.

The movie has a lot of good and a lot of bad, which I guess makes it controversial. The acting is terrible, but Kristen Dunst and Jason S (not sure what his last name is) are not good actors, and they tend to deliver flat lines and flat characters. It was hard watching that, but she is a pretty adorable girl in the same way Marie Antoinette was, she was a bit more aristocratic, at least from the portraits that exist. Versailles is beautiful; there are only a handful of palaces in the world that can show how absolute power reigned. It is a world within a world, a place where reality is not accepted. It is in fact rejected and a new reality was created out of marble, and limestone. The Grand Trianon and the Petit Trianon are perfect examples.

But to get to my point, the thing that impressed me the most about the movie was the way Sofia Coppola tells the tale. I have to say that I read Steven Zweig biography of the late French queen, and not Antonia Fraser’s (the one the movie is based on) and I have always felt that no matter who had married Louis the XVI th, the outcome would have been the same. France had been ruled by the Bourbons with little regard to the middle and lower classes for centuries, and the American Revolution which was partly sponsored by France and the food shortages led to the peasant (I would severely question, this fact, it was mostly a revolution organized and lead by the bourgeoisie, who wanted to have more say in the country’s affairs) uprising that we now call the French Revolution. There was looting and many, many of the lower aristocrats were killed, and most of the high ranking aristocrats were able to flee the country and then returned after Robespierre’s Reign of Terror. It has always been my theory that any other European princess would have had the same fate, of course this is a game of what ifs that is not worth playing to far, but history time and time again comes full circle and we see how the individuals in power are puppets of currents that sweep the globe as much as they are makers of their and their people’s destinies.

That said, the movie shows us that world, so often romanticizes by novelists and play writes, and shows us if not exactly how it was and how people talked and acted a good insight into the ridiculous situations this people were thrown into. How could they not loose all contact with reality when they had to put on a show every morning, and when they would eat lunch and be a show for the rest of courtiers. Those were the themes that resounded with me from the movie and which made it an interesting and thoughtful exercise in movie making.

Somewhat rested

The weekend as nice, busy yet not busy enough for me not to get 7 hours of sleep each day, I could write about our multiple adventures, but the Scientist wrote a good piece about a party we went to at the BGG, or the Big Gay Gym. The party was ok, I was in a terrible mood, so I made use of the extra hour on Saturday and went to bed early.

Sunday was nice, I should have studied for a project I am supposed to take next week but decided to swim, go to the gym and hung out with the Scientist and the Diplomat. Had brunch with Imelda and her ex, and was an all around nice day.

Not much to report here, I got assigned into a new project and hence I am busy, busy, busy, stressed, stressed, and stressed. It is sad, I thought that the rest of the year was going to be nice and quiet and apparently it will not be the case. I am kind of sorta hyperventilating, because I am expected to do all these things and learn a new technology in one week and then go present and exam and it is all supposed to be a cakewalk but it is not going to be. Sigh, there goes my workout schedule.

More tomorrow when I have had time to digest it all.

Tired

I.need.sleep
Not sure what happened this week, but I am wipped, and need to sleep. Want to bet I will not be able to get it over the weekend?

Reasons

Good posts like good men are hard to compose. I sometimes ask myself why I make myself write every day – ok, ok, as close as possible to every day as I can – and I still do not have any good answers. I am not using the blog as a soap box, been way to sensitive to even try and start. No one would ever shut me up otherwise. But yesterday came close to being the first time I wrote and entry that I thought was well done, honest, not terribly over done and jus right. So I have little to follow that up with. Reminds me of that post on failure the Scientist wrote about the “this I believe” entry on failure.

Like the writer of that essay, I know that only 1 out of 10 posts will be a decent read. I am not kidding myself, most of what goes on here is navel gazing. Little old me focusing on me and my little problems and nothing else, but it is fun and it is my mental exercise, in the middle of proposals and boring documents that have to be written for work. So there I guess that is my reason, also because I do hope to eventually do something more creative with my life and this seems like good training. Another good reason is that I can not afford therapy, and I can afford a half hour or so every day keeping track of my thoughts. Lastly it forces myself to do it, if I was pretending to be a nineteen century heroine and writing my little journal it would never work, besides what would I write for myself, to do lists? Sorry essays on how I am right the world is wrong? Or just accounts of my dry routine. Nah none of them would be challenging and I would stop doing them. This website works like a deadline, where I know that someone will come at some point during the day and if they see a new post they might read it, they might not, but they will not think, this lazy ass knitter has stopped knitting and blogging.

Those are my reasons to blog. My question to all the other bloggers out there is why do you blog ?

Just a Shag ... I thought I knew that

He was looking at me from the stairs at the bar, talking to his friends and holding a beer. Cute, no not cute, good looking very good looking, blue eyes, dark hair, slim body, 5’9” and a runners build. I of course did not think he was looking at me, so I continued going up and got to the second floor of Halo and continued my shenanigans with the boys. But every so often I would feel a look and would find him looking or smiling. I of course looked back and smiled. Finally we got tired of Halo and went to JR’s, as we were walking out I looked around and could not see him, he left already I thought.

Fast forward two hours later to Cobalt, somehow we had decided JR’s was not fun enough and off to the third bar of the night we went. Upstairs the dance floor was ok, we twirled and turned but the music started being repetitive and boring, so we went downstairs and talked a bit more. Slowly the gang starts to melt, people go home, and at the end its just Imelda and me. As we were leaving I looked around and see him smiling me. I do not give this a thought and tell Imelda that I need to go home, and sleep, we head for the door and again I feel the look, and just when I am in the door, Imelda tells me to go and talk to him. Why? I asked, well he has been cruising you all night he said. I question, and ponder and decide to go and see what this one wants. I turned back and went straight to where he stood, with another beer in his hand, say Hi, and start some small conversation, hi I am Pablo, I am Eric he responds. Finally he just leans in and kisses me and asks to stay the night, and I say why not? So off we went on a cab home, Imelda, the trick and me.

We get home and talk a little, guess it’s the get to know each other part, he is from Pennsylvania, 37, cute as can be, we start kissing and making out, he feels good against my skin. Get to bed, undress, and continue, we managed to get up three times through the night and continue. Of course I can detect the smell of beer on him, you know that acrid-sweet smell, reminded me of one of the first boys I dated. We wake up, talk more. He is the youngest of 5, a part time writer. He asks if I have had a long term relationship and I am honest and say, no never lasted more than 5 months. He has been with someone for 7 years, ouch I feel so unaccomplished so we make out a little more. I make coffee and take him home, then go to swim practice and carry out with the day.

When I left him home, we exchanged numbers and he even enquired if I would be available that week. I said yes and told him to call me. He did and I called back but then we never met. For a week or so, I kind of hoped to meet this guy again, if just to see him in day light and talk to him more, and hopefully kiss him a bit more. I left two messages and never heard back and a week later I realized that I had forgotten the first rule of tricking: it was just a shag, just that. I of course chose to forget, but deep down I knew it.

My Drug

This month the swimmie book club is reading “A million little pieces”, a book I am not very interested in, but I am reading it, and I am making strides, but as was the case with the last book, I might not get it done before 2 weeks. There is so much pucking in this book that I feel like I have read about throwing up for the rest of my life. Ok, I am being facetious, the book is interestingly written, I specially enjoy its short prose and its use of sentences in lieu of paragraphs. Reading about addictions makes me always think of mine, for years and years my addiction was doing nothing, sitting around reading, playing the aloof intellectual perpetually misunderstood by my pears. Then I joined the swim team and the whole tune changed, I became more active and by active I mean physically active. I started swimming and then I picked u the gym and I am at a stage where I try to work out everyday, and feel guilty if I do not work out one day. This is stupid and nonsensical I reckon, but I do. I give myself one free day every week – today is the high heel race and it will be the day because I need to be somewhere at 6:30 and there is no time to do anything at the gym. But most days you will find me at the gym or at the pool. Yesterday was no surprise, I left work then went to the gym and lifted, did some abs and spined.
The interesting thing is how exercise changes my state of mind. I had had a long day, with some small tasks at work. I got into a tizzy with a friend that was being bitchy, and as a result I was tired and just ready to go home and sit on my couch. But I know myself well enough, I would not manage an afternoon at home with the TV and nothing else. I went to the gym, and I did the weights (biceps and triceps) and then the abs class, both boring. Then headed to the spin class, and had one of those classes where you are able to do everything and do it right. My legs were tired but the high I get from doing it and being tired and the little pain all over that tells me I have done something right is exhilarating. It is something not all my friends understand, but some do (that would be the Scientist and Imelda). After the gym I got some groceries and came home, watched some TV while the Diplomat and the neighbor came for dinner. After they left and I was putting stuff away, brushing my teeth I realized how addicted to the cardio part of exercise I am. It is not the weights, and sometimes it is not the swimming but it is the spinning and the stair master that give me this sense of happiness that can only be compared with a high. I left the gym ready to slaughter dragons and giants and I am grateful for that, at the same time I am grateful for the insight because it most definitely is something I need to keep in check.

On the subject of man bags

I have a confession; I would love for the man bag to be back in vogue. I have tried to use a satchel – not just any satchel, but a Ben Sherman one – as a murse, but it is too big, and bulky. When I walk into a bar with it, I looks like I just came from school with all my supplies and that is just not chic. So I am in the market for a smaller bag, one where I can carry the following:

Keys

Cell phone

Wallet

Book,

Power bars

Gum

Change

It is not too much to ask is it ? Just a nice, small bag where I can carry all these things. It would alleviate my pockets, because nothing looks worse than a short guy with his pockets full of stuff. I mean I already avoid pleated pants like the plague, not sure who in their right mind would wear pleated pants anyway, but especially if you are short.

Why am I bringing this up, because I have nothing else to say, on the one hand, and an anonymous person left a comment on my previous post with a link to the following picture:

I will never look like a footballer, at all, specially one that is so “straight”. I can say that people that went to school with me were fooled for a while and that I take as a badge of honor, because fooling another queen for 1.5 years is quite the accomplishment. And on more randomness I am feeling better, I am still not completely well, but I am winning over this stupid cold. The only problem is that everyone I know has had this cold, or is in the process of having it, and so the likelihood of my falling sick again, is well great.

Out sick

So, finally broke down and stayed home today to chill and see if I get over this cold. Trying to not do too much, but have some work to do.

Very disappointed at Project Runway, but that is life, your favorites can not win every time - that is what my grandmother says.